WHATEVER HAPPENED TO CHIVALRY? OR MEN JUST BEING MEN??

what DID happen to chivalry, and isn't it (or wasn't it) IN the NATURE of men to want to cherish, spoil, adore, take care of (not just financially or always financially, lest it be thought i'm saying i'm a gold digger or looking for a man to TOTALLY take care of me. that's not what i'm saying, but you know the sentiment would be nice for a change!) women?? whatever happened to that?
is it only older men who still do that or feel that way? and do all of them even feel that way? is it a dying art? a dying breed? because these days it seems that there has been a role reversal. that men want the WOMEN to be the ones supporting THEM & spoiling them & adoring them AND also, while taking care of all of the financial aspects, to be sure to also still do EVERYTHING that a woman is "supposed to do", meaning clean the house, do the laundry, pay the bills (w/her money of course), cook the meals, have the children, RAISE the children, be the happy homemaker while also being THE breadwinner. sure, maybe sometimes she is the 50/50 partner, but even if she is "only" doing 50 percent of the cash earning, she is still expected to do all of the housewifey things as well, so in essence she is doing 150% of everything, whilst the man is putting in a measly 25% or whatever.
i'm not just talking out of my ass here. i have dated a LOT!! i won't even mention how much i've dated, because it might be an embarrassing number of dates, it's so plentiful. besides that, in leading up to, or in the deciding of dating someone, i have also talked to COUNTLESS men, getting to know them, their views, their opinions. then on top of that, i read a LOT & i also have a lot of mail friends, so i think that my opinion on this matter is QUITE well informed, to say the least. i think i'm a pretty decent authority on men & who they are and what they want. granted, it might be a certain demographic....say early 20's to mid/late 50's, there are some exceptions below & above those ages, but that is the basic age range.
below is an email i composed to a man on facebook who is a "friend" but i JUST "met" him, we know nothing about each other, we have only exchanged a couple of emails & they were very short emails.
he was asking if i do cam to cam. meaning, obviously, do i get on cam to talk to him while he's on cam & in my experience of guys asking those types of things, it generally means ONE thing: they are HOPING they will get lucky. that this cam/cam session will turn into something sexual. in fact, many men ask flat out about things like that, or wanna go there in ANY arena. via email, text, im, you name it. in fact i've had guy FRIENDS, that i knew very well try to take things in that direction & to be honest, i was offended!
i thought they they were my FRIENDS! not some fairweather friend who wanted to get some cheap thrill out of me & that's all! also offensive is the fact that our friendship obviously means SO little to them that they will risk it for trying to go to such a place. if a guy is interested interested in you & wants it to be more: a relationship, a start of a relationship, then that is more understandable. also it's different if YOU are interested in the guy romantically as well. i'm including sexually in that statement i suppose.
just to be clear, i have NOT gone on cam w/ANY guy EVER!!! ever in the history of my life, of the computer age, the history of the world, or the history of anything! i own a cam, but i've never used it. it's in my computer center cupboard. i bought it for work, for internet meetings, but never had the need for it.
i have talked to and "watched" guys on cam. i don't have a problem w/that. i mean TALKING, just talking, as a friend or whatever.
here is the majority my response to that guy's email to me, asking if we could do cam to cam....

"very expensive? really? wow. when you meet & like a woman, don't you take her out to dinner? or at LEAST drinks or something?
you seem to be looking for some cheap sluts w/NO self esteem, just ready to go on cam & give you your cheap thrills for absolutely NOTHING in return. now THAT offends me.
i'm worth more than that, i have more self respect than that & i'm not some fucking "free" whore walking down the street waiting for any guy to ask if i wanna fuck, or if i wanna cam. wtf? u men these days make ZERO effort for women! you are so spoiled, entitled, wanting instant gratification & everything else you want, all for NOTHING! u don't even have to lift a fucking finger.
whatever happened to chivalry? or treating a woman like a lady? or wanting to spoil or take care of a woman, even for a day?
don't worry i'm SURE you will find a TON of women on fb who have NO self esteem & don't value themselves at all, who would LOVE to jump on cam w/you because that's the ONLY way they think they can get "love" or attention from men."

so that was most of my email. i guess i went off on a tangent, but why should that be shocking or taken as more shocking, my going off on a tangent, if you wanna call it that, then a man i don't even KNOW asking me right off the bat if we can go "cam to cam" or however he put it?
i don't know. it all makes me wonder. OF COURSE, men wouldn't be doing this stuff, asking this stuff, etc. were it not being ALLOWED by countless women right? if every woman was like "go fuck yourself" they wouldn't be so easy to ask, so flippantly & so right off the bat. so i'm not just blaming men, i'm blaming women as well.
then conversely i ALSO believe that we ALL should be able to do what we want to, in ANY arena, sexually included & NOT be judged & yeah that's a great concept, but unfortunately it DOESN'T work that way and we ARE judged for our behavior & everything we do in this world.

the L.A. Complex...anyone watch it??? it's cancelled?? dammit! SO wrong! now we don't know what happens to anyone!

well i did by accident but ended up loving it! and i was just wondering what happened to it and when the hell it was coming back, so i googled and apparently it was CANCELLED!!!! WHY??
okay i somehow stumbled upon this show, thought it would be SO cheesy and terrible but it wasn't. it was totally good, entertaining, intriguing, kept you guessing and TOTALLY sucked you in!
so i then ended up dvr'ing every episode though i apparently caught them in reruns, but i think i caught ALL of the episodes, though i thought there had only been one season and that that was all that i watched. maybe it was? i'm not sure.
i had never even HEARD of it, never saw a commercial, except during watching the show.
apparently the CW did a horrific job of promoting it, which is OBVIOUSLY the reason why it was cancelled! but was it cancelled for sure? there are varying posts that are pretty old too, w/different info.
okay networks now THIS is the problem. you don't put the time or money into promoting good shows on TV & you also don't GIVE THEM THE TIME to actually catch on....if you aren't getting the ratings you want, poof! the show(s) are pulled! which is a big, stupid bag of BS in my opinion. they didn't use to do that, they used to give shows TIME to catch on!! and SO many fantastic shows have been pulled due to that, while the crap shows keep-a coming. the utterly forgettable, unwatchable tripe that gets cranked out non friggin stop.
for one simple example, let me site "seinfeld", it didn't get good critiques OR viewers for YEARS, yet the network kept it on, very wise of them. look at what it became!! will always be a huge part of television history.
okay enough of my babbling, but can anyone absolutely confirm for me that the la complex is NOT coming back??
arghh, i hope it is, but i have a feeling it's not and that is total bs and a complete travesty. good job CW programming big wigs, once again you've blown it. meanwhile i'm sure there will be more crappy endless america's next top models on and even MORE crappy, endless tripe-y tyler perry shows and more of it's kind. i know there are tons of people out there who actually enjoy watching tripe, but there are also those of us who have brains and taste who ARE discerning and want DECENT and GOOD shows to continue! at least the premium channels get it right for the most part and AMC is kicking ass for sure. breaking bad and mad men, oh and the walking dead are three of MY favorite shows EVER!! because they are GREAT shows! well written, fantastically acted and directed, high production value, on and on.
i'm not putting the la complex in the company of the above esteemed shows but it was a VERY good show for the CW (which btw i don't watch at ALL, EVER! because of their crappy programming), and it definitely deserved to stick around.
i, like other comments i skimmed on here, also thought it was going to be a regurgitated, BAD melrose place or something in that vein, but it's totally not. it's citizen cane compared to melrose place, beverly hills 90210, etc.

My review of the film: "Most High", I was posting it on imdb, so figured I may as well put it on here too, if anyone even reads any of my stuff. :)

**If you haven't seen this film, there are SPOILERS I have written!!
perhaps i should start w/a synopsis of "most high"?
i'm not sure if that's what people want to read? well, no, the plot is already outlined on IMDb & anywhere
else that you look it up. so back to what i was saying about it being HARROWING: he, (julius, the lead character) REALLY and truly got it down, the "life" of a tweeker!! omg, i can't believe he gained 25 lbs
to start the film, then filmed it over TWO YEARS and LOST 100 lbs!!!
talk about passion and dedication! ps. i don't know if my review contains spoilers or not, but i checked the box just in case. i don't want to get in trouble w/the IMDb gestapo. haha. jk.
wait, i just noticed that on netflix the film release (or making) date said 2006,but on here it says 2004, i guess they are going by when he STARTED making it (w/all of the weight loss etc. being the time factor),
instead of the release date? anyway, marty sader/julius & the writer
and director, was fantastic, as i said he REALLY got the behavior down, along w/the paranoia, drug induced psychosis, the mouth movements (see: grinding), the hallucinations, the whole kit and kaboodle.
sadly, i have known meth users in my life & have witnessed much of what he put on film. that is WHY it IS so harrowing and tragic, sad, wasteful, you name every negative emotion and i'm sure it fits. supposedly speed usage is the biggest epidemic in our country & i don't doubt it, especially in southern and midwestern states, where it seems to be so prevalent, because there is "nothing" else to do for people and once someone is introduced to that drug (& this applies to most, if not all drugs), at the onset of usage, you apparently feel AMAZING! like you're king of the world, on top of the world, invincible, can do ANYTHING and plan to do anything! which of course you never do....
but then the rest of your time on the drug/drugs is spent chasing that initial feeling, which you rarely or never get, which i think speaks to many of the overdoses from drugs:  i'm sure people are thinking "oh if i
do MORE i will surely get that original feeling?" i can't say that i know if that ever occurs, not overdoses, of course those occur constantly,  but what i'm speaking of is the recapturing of that first HIGH, but i do know this: that drug is EVIL! pure evil. the first time you decide to partake in it, you may as well just
throw your life into the trash at that same moment, and kiss it goodbye while you're at it. same goes for heroin, which i think those (meth and heroin), are the top 2, MOST addictive and most dangerous drugs out there. though that bath salt deal in recent times is just crazy insane and i still can't wrap my head around THAT one!! WHO possibly came UP w/that idea? who possibly thought that THAT is a GOOD IDEA?? in ANY way? i also don't understand people wanting to be & feel BEYOND oblivion on any drug. you don't even know what is going on, you can't remember, you go into psychotic episodes, some are crazy & ruined for like or simply DEAD!!! not only WHO started it, but WHO jumped on that bandwagon? wow. just nutty. flat out nutty!! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0418903/
so yes, i'd recommend this film, it's DEFINITELY not the "feel good" film of ANY time, but it's quite sobering, no pun.
i noticed some people questioning/posting about the end, what did it mean? i thought it was pretty apparent. it seemed that he and his girlfriend were at a rehab type facility and possibly about to start getting clean. the dream sequences were his dreams of his "normal" future, of having the "leave it to beaver" type american dream lifestyle. which may be possible for him in the future, though he was pretty tore up in the last half or third of the film, but nothing is impossible!
okay now THIS is definitely a spoiler: when the ambulance carrying the girlfriend to the hospital, RAN INTO THEM, or over them, though they kind of dissipated into molecules or whatever you want to call it.....was symbolic of his daydream/dream being crushed by the reality of what was going on in actuality, and that he/they were possibly getting clean, or starting the road to getting clean: hence the interviews throughout the film showing people discussing THEIR roads to recovery and being clean.
i think it was really sad that he so unfairly lost his job that he had a unique talent for, (due to that Dr boss' a-hole EGO BS!) RIGHT after losing his adopted "father" whom he adored and who adored him, and his girlfriend as well, whom he was already disconnected from. so it set the stage perfectly for him to go down the worm hole, as he did.
something that REALLY pissed me off, was that the girlfriend who INTRODUCED him to drugs & other nefarious things....the scenes where she set him up to rip him off & he discovered that she had stolen the $25 grand from him, and yet he was TOTALLY okay w/it, didn't even mention it. i thought it was sweet of him to love and want her regardless & THAT takes a lot, a good man, no matter how spun out he was, to completely overlook & accept what she did for him, because to him love was love & he loved her unconditionally, so THAT was what was sweet about it, not many, or any people would be so kind. on the other hand he SHOULD have been pissed off at her & that should have been the final sign to him that she was just a USER, in every way, shape and form & was not good for him or ANYONE!
i found the voice overs VERY interesting, quite profound, those more so at the beginning of the film, (because by the end he was basically impossible to understand), how we ALL have our vices (& addictions), which is for damn sure! and he was a drinker at that point. would drink to celebrate, for when he was depressed, for any occasion, because that is what we are TAUGHT in this country *the US*, or many countries, go home after work and unwind, be it alcohol, food, shopping, drugs, love, sex, they all have propensity for addiction, and as i mentioned, i believe that most of us ARE addicted to one thing or another. many don't realize it, or let's say WANT to realize it. we all have and need escapism.
so in essence i think this film was a painful to watch commentary on our NEED for excess, be that whatever you use to excess.
not to ramble on forever, but what i find surprising is that i've not, to my knowledge, seen marty/julius before in anything, and that there is such a huge amount of time between each of his works, whether it be acting, directing or writing. i think he's a very talented guy!
yes, i would recommend watching this film. it's a cautionary tale at the very least. GOOD JOB Marty sader!!
ps. speaking of the length of time between each of his projects, not many, i even wondered (because of the realism of this film), if he HAD been on speed, to TRY for more realism & also to lose the 100 lbs and so on. that would be above and beyond method acting though. i know it sounds ridiculous, but the thought DID occur to me! it's also unfeasible though because HOW would he direct, act, write, etc. while being all spun out on meth? not very likely.
those are my thoughts on this film, having just watched it,(i even have more, as shocking long as this review is, but i will stifle the rest, as i've gone on MORE than long enough & i don't need to bore anyone any further :P).

My film review of "Arbitrage"!! I thought it was a decent "thriller" all things considered....

OOPS, i JUST came across this in my drafts, i never finished it & i know i never will! so i'm posting what i DID write. remember, it may not be complete OR make any sense at all! ah well...
Writer/Director Nicholas Jarecki gives us Robert Miller, as portrayed by Richard Gere, for the face of Wall Street fraud, corporate greed, narcissism and deceit at it's finest. ANYTHING for money: family, love, dignity, you name it, is all dispensable when millions (or billions) of dollars are involved.
I thought it was pretty good, BUT the thing that really screwed it up for me from the word go, realism wise (and i'm big on that, though i can totally suspend my disbelief when needed or wanted as well), was that his car flipped on NOTHING!! it made NO sense at all! he was skimming his car against the divider, creating sparks, then woke up, turned his steering wheel slightly and outta nowhere & on nothing & for NO reason at all (except the plot), his car flipped 3-4 times.
i overlooked it at the moment, but the person i was seeing it with said at that instant "okay, this is a bad movie. they ruined it. that wouldn't happen, was stupid & now no matter what i can't buy into it". this is also the person who said that "walk the line" would have been interesting, better, watchable, etc. had the entire movie had joaquin phoenix simply WALKING A LINE! hahaha. this person has pretty excellent taste in films, but has ZERO interest in johnny cash, his life, and more importantly, things that are NOT logical.
i have to say i'm big on logic as well & realism & have a very hard time enjoying films that are entirely based upon CGI w/little to no plot, or even good films w/BAD CGI. arghhh. i'm not against CGI at all, i just want it to look good, to look realistic. besides look at michel gondry and "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind", where he did it ALL (or like 99%) organically, the way they USED to in films!
but i digress....."arbitrage" IS a decent film. i thought it was better when i was actually viewing it. thinking back there are tons of holes in it, which bother me & my friend is correct in that the accident, the ENTIRE basis for the plot & suspense that ensues is so key to the film, that if it doesn't make any sense, that screws up the entire movie. (roger ebert gave it 4 stars, but he has GREATLY loosened up in his critiques and estimation of films in the last decade or so. he's older? he's happier? he's less judgmental since his own personal tragedies? i don't know. but i used to almost always agree w/him on his reviews & take on each film. i still do on many, or to a point. i will read reviews by him, or google them or imdb them before or after i've seen a film. 1. if i haven't heard of it, nor seen a trailer, i want to see if i think it's "worth it" and 2. i want to see how many people agree w/my thoughts on any particular film.
to be more specific, i thought richard gere's performance was one of the best i've ever seen from him. never have been a huge fan, but he's okay. oh, i thought he was a GREAT psycho in "looking for mr. goodbar", such a creepy film, so was tom berenger, though his role was pretty tiny, i was impressed w/his acting, also he was GORGEOUS too back then!!! geez louise. some beautiful men. they are still good looking now, of course, i'm just saying.
it's like tony soprano...as gandolfini himself said "why are people (women) finding a fat, balding guy in a bathrobe attractive?" (i'm paraphrasing). but i was too!! there is something about that confidence that comes w/power that IS seductive, attractive, etc.

I was just looking at a website i came upon about "Worst celebrity makeup" or something like that.....

http://starcrush.com/makeup-fails-courtney-love/
okay i'm a makeup artist, who YES, has worked in the industry, & on celebs, & while i'm not NECESSARILY disagreeing w/some of the statements made by the person who wrote these (though i pretty much AM disagreeing w/the majority of what she said: mainly because they have NO clue what they are talking about). "The No. 1 rule of makeup is balance. If you go heavy on the lips, go light on the eyes and vice versa", for example. no, that is NOT the #1 rule, nor is it even a "rule" per se. look at dearly departed kevin aucoin for example, or other world renowned & respected makeup artists. you CAN definitely go heavy on eyes AND lips at the same time. besides that, her eye makeup (courtney) is NOT even heavy at all!! there is little to no eye shadow, a smidge of liner and mascara, that hardly merits a HEAVY, smoky eye! so yeah, my basic point is this critic supposedly in the know here, or some self assigned expert; knows JACK SHIT! seriously!
last but not least, WHY should everyone look the same & fit some stupid media/celeb OBSESSED cultures definition & judgment of HOW makeup (or anything else for that matter) SHOULD look! once everyone looks the same & are a bunch of brainless drones following the leader or the fashion "experts", then everyone is pleased. ridiculous. whatever happened to creativity? expressing yourself? being DIFFERENT?? nope, can't have that! puhleeze

tell me this: WHO all remembers bjork's swan dress?? or even j. lo's low cut versace deal?? most of the world right? (granted, clothing, not makeup) (btw, i COMPLETELY remember gwyneth's horrible saggy boob dress & always will, but i thought her hair and makeup were fine, though i didn't really recall them at all. in fact i think seeing her eye makeup again, it looks pretty damn good. again though, it's NOT a "smoky eye" though. jesus, does anyone KNOW what an actual smoky eye IS?? it's not just more, or a lot of eye makeup!
anyway, as i was saying, people remember fashion risks, meat dresses, wild alien makeup and so on, but can anyone (besides a fashion or celeb obsessor) tell you what makeup so and so had on whatever year that was deemed "fabulous" or "perfect". doubtful. i can't, i'll tell you that & i have a great memory and am VERY visual.
it's all ridiculous. this factory of sameness. 

can you say HIGHWAY ROBBERY?? well that's what SAN PEDRO BEAUTY SUPPLY IS!!!!!!!!!

they are SO OVERPRICED, it's not even funny!!! their markup is at LEAST 300-400%, no joke!! then they have little tricks they employ. about 90% of the stock is ALWAYS marked w/"sale" tags, when the items are not only NOT on sale, but FAR above even suggested retail price!!!
oh and if you happen to be a professional, have any license and are SUPPOSED to receive 20% off, FORGET IT!! because they don't do that for hair color (which is generally the thing that professionals are buying in the first place) and secondly, they don't do it at ALL for anything on "sale", but EVERYTHING is on sale at all times. so you are effectively screwed. you ask them about it and they claim ignorance. not that i expect the workers there to be privy to all of the sneaky ways of doing biz, but you'd think that anyone who's been to any other store on the planet OR has ANY common sense whatsoever would catch on!
the ONLY reason i ever go there or would ever go again is because of it's close proximity to me. you don't always have time to drive to maly's, cosmoprof, etc. even though what you purchase there is a TENTH of the price (or less) than this blatant rip-off business.
yes, they have a good selection, yes, sometimes the clerks are helpful, and yes, unfortunately they are SIPHONING money off of the public. granted, there are no guns to anyone's heads but it IS highway robbery. even for a non professional, i would recommend to go ANYWHERE else, even your own hair salon will be cheaper!!!! OR go to sally's RIGHT across the street where you can get some decent prices.
well i think i've said enough, more than enough and was very clear on my view of this place. it angers me greatly every time i drive by this place, or happen to go IN this place, or even THINK about this place!! they are such a huge rip off of such magnitude that it isn't even funny and what ticks me off even more (as a consumer but more so for OTHER consumers, who don't have the option of going to full on "pro" beauty supplies), is all of the TRICKS they employ to not give ANYONE a price break, to not even bring an item down to 200% ABOVE RETAIL!!! and that they have no shame about it at all! the owner is laughing all the way to the bank, i'm sure.
OH, another trick they have is having coupons in local mailers & such but once again in the fine print it states that if an item is on sale, you will NOT get the discount. once again: EVERY FRIGGIN ITEM IS "ON SALE"!!! absolutely ridiculous and worse: disgusting!!!

youth, beauty, models, stupid public, etc.....

okay, i INTEND to come back to this, cause i have oh so much more to say about this subject, BUT i'm in a hurry right now and don't have time, so i'm posting the little i typed up now. cheers. :)
 
i was watching a documentary last night called "about face", had a bunch of supermodels from the 70's, 80's, etc. talking about youth/beauty, etc. and paulina porizkova (who's a smart cookie) & isabella rossellini were asking why anyone who gets older is just invisible now. basically doesn't matter in society. or AMERICAN society. how in our 20's we need to be our most attractive to biologically a

ttract a fertile mate, yadda yadda but we don't need that at 40, 50, etc, so WHY does everyone want to look 20?? & i personally find it false *and insulting* advertising to see 15 yr old girls advertising age creams & such. wtf? THEY are supposed to be the result of anti-aging potions? noooooo. how stupid ARE we?? i revere age & wisdom a billion times more than youth & "beauty", which is subjective anyway. the young don't know SHIT! i thought i knew everything when i was a kid, but man i was wrong.

Question: WHY are there gay guys who pretend they are straight???? Or go for women??

No, i'm soooooooooo not being homophobic, sexist, bigoted, judgmental, none of that......
Also to be VERY clear, the particulars (and people) that I have in mind are SO not in the category of can't tell their family, can't come out, it will ruin their life or career, none of the common reasons that people don't come out.
I'm referring to people who everyone would be ENTIRELY cool w/them coming out, be supportive, wonderful (and probably not too surprised to be honest).
So why do that? Why hide it or pretend to be otherwise? I'm also not talking about people in their teens, 20's, etc. who are still confused, undecided, fighting the feelings (though fighting the feelings could apply), I'm talking about people OVER 30 who know damn well who they are and what they like and prefer. WHY NOT just come out? OR if they're not wanting to come out, then at the very least, do NOT pursue women (or men) and be very misleading and dishonest w/significant others and even themselves.
Oh and don't even get my started on the bi-sexual deal. In my mind (and maybe it is too judgmental, too ready to label, though i don't think so, i think i'm VERY compassionate, very empathetic and very understanding, but I also believe what i believe and have strong opinions about many things, so i'm just being true to myself as well right?), i was saying in my mind bi-sexual is gay. Simple as that.
I'm not referring to women fooling around w/their girlfriends on drunken nights or even non drunken nights plus people tend to look at that differently right? gay women are "hot" and considered a turn on, blah blah. i'm generalizing, but you get it. okay i'm signing off, too tired to finish this up.
guess i'll come back to this later. i was typing this MONTHS ago & forgot i even had the draft, and other drafts. oops. 

the "Masked Man" on the Bachelorettte, "perfection in relationships", people never finding what they "want"

Ahhhh, where to start here? Don't worry I will get to Mr. Mask.
First off, let me apologize for getting sucked into these tripe-y shows.  Yeah I realize a lot of people love them, watch them (hell I'm watching right?) and LIVE for this shit and I'll admit, I get sucked in too, but maybe I'm more judgmental while watching it or it's like a science experiment for me? Yeah, that is it, I'm curious. Who are these people, what are they gonna do or say or how will they act. It's just more "relationship" fodder for me, so yes I find it interesting.
Maybe I'm being a snob, trying to announce that I'm above this "tripe" or whatever, maybe I think I am? No, I don't think I'm above it, but i DO know that I would never ever ever go on ANY type of show like that or any show period. I have never been the fame whore type or the "hey look at me" type or the type sooo desperate for love that I would go on some unrealistic TV show. I'm not saying it's a setup (though sometimes I wonder), they claim it's not, it's just entirely unrealistic to think that out of 20 (??) or whatever women/men that in that group there would just HAPPEN to be the one for you.  But then again, I have thoughts about how anyone could be the one for someone, it just depends on the open-mindedness of both parties. Think about that.....couldn't anyone be "the one" for anyone else? If forced together, got to know each other, whatever. Spend enough time w/anyone and won't they grow on you? I mean the odds are good, but my point w/this situation is that it IS for TV, a lot of the stuff is staged, but beyond that, let's say it's all organic, you still are spending such a short amount of time w/the people, even when it gets down to a few, but WORSE, you are having these fantasy dates, these fantasy lives (wait, didn't i cover all of this in a bachelor blog? ahhhh, i bet i did!), you are not living your real lives, working your jobs, dealing w/stress (except for who you like or don't, if you're gonna stay or go), you are going to places and doing things that are dreams coming true type deals, it's a fantasy. So even if you did by chance "fall in love" or even infatuation w/this person what happens when the show is over?
Then there comes the worst part of all. You are separated for months, are allowed some secret meetings, how is your new love supposed to withstand that? Hell, it can barely withstand seeing each other everyday. Then you have to watch the show and see everyone else he/she made out with, claimed to be all into, get all jealous, all insecure and THEN (ominous music here) you live in 2 completely different states, completely different lives and are back to reality. Work, bills, stress, LIFE and then you're supposed to move or travel back and forth, have a long distance relationship. It takes a lot of balls, sincerity and fortitude to keep that up. Sadly I don't think that many people possess those things in abundance. Even if they were ALL into that person, once reality comes back, the separation comes along, some other girl/guy hits on them, they start thinking about things they don't like, whatever the case may be. Hell something shiny might float by and they are already distracted, already one foot out the door.
What is that made up word or phrase? Stick-to-it-ness. Something like that. Who has that in this day and age? Everyone is ALWAYS ready to move on. Move on, move on. To what? To some invisible thing that they just THINK exists? To some person they THINK is great, for the moment? Back to their alone time, their solitude, just later to complain again about being lonely and not having anyone? Ready to later think "man i really screwed that up, what was I thinking?", once they are older or see that their options aren't limitless or that THEY were the nut in the "bad" relationship, OR they "wake up" too old, too set in their ways, all options are gone and then they are really screwed, the ship has sailed, because they didnt' have the character, the fortitude, the balls, the desire, the anything to work out TRIFLING issues. Things that were nothing, not even real problems. Just problems in their minds or problems w/their egos (same thing kinda sorta but not), problems w/wanting to be right, problems w/wanting to be a control freak, problems w/commitment, w/attention span, so they decided something was too much, too hard, not right, not meant to be (all said in quotations),etc. when it all could have been right, good, fulfilling and everything great but they blew it, for stupid ass or even nonexistent reasons.
Now THAT is so silly to me. No, I'm not referring to people who know right off the bat, instantaneously that someone is not right for them, they aren't attracted in the least, are completely and offensively different, don't even like each other, there is no way in hell these people would work out for them, but that is rare right? Usually it's just our snobbery dictating those things. What I AM referring to here is people who DID like each other, who did connect, who WERE attracted and had a mind connection as well, things in common, everything working for them and THEN they decided for some random reason "nah, I don't feel like it anymore, I wanna go back to my shitty lonely, boring life where I can always be right". So right yet so alone.  Trust me, I've been there, I've picked apart people out of fear, of commitment, insecurity, immaturity, you name it, I've found a million reasons right off the bat about how and why I cannot be w/that person for any length of time, ah but then you add in the physical connection and if THAT is good, you can REALLY overlook a multitude of sins. Yes, you DO need a physical connection but that is just a distraction to what is really there, especially if you start that too early on, as most do, as we all do, as too many do? If you really wanted to find out if someone was right for you (hormones aside) you would WAIT, until you knew you really liked them as a person. Wow, I say "really" a lot don't I?
But I'm not speaking of sex here or chemistry or physical connection, (that's a different topic that I could write pages and pages about, but for a different time and place, only is a tiny part of what I'm referring to now), sure it's important but the other is far more important, no matter how sexual of a person you are (and trust me I am one, but I made a choice a couple of years ago to let my brain and heart do the deciding for me instead of my body and it was a good choice).
What I am speaking of here is blown opportunities, throwing things away over nothing. And i DO mean nothing. I have seen, heard about, watched AND experienced this myself a million times (all those combined, for the "million"). Oh sure the "reasons" are fantastic at the time and VERY logical, but what do those reasons tell you six months from now? A year from now? Five years from now? When you are STILL alone (or worse, still repeating your shitty patterns. A few months here, a few months there and then suddenly discovering or letting the bad things calculate into a laundry list that you use as proof to yourself on how it WON'T work), so what then? Are your reasons and your ego and your bullshit holding you when you sleep at night? Talking to you after work? Will they hold your hand when you die? Will they remember you? And if they do, will they remember you as anything more than a deceiver? Someone who put on an act to "get" you and then switched it all up, when the real person you were came out? But let's say that you or that other party already KNEW and experienced all or many of your flaws? And that you were already ready and willing to deal with, overlook, live w/those flaws: EVERYONE has flaws the last time I checked. You should be w/the person(s) who's flaws you can live w/the most, but that's all a matter of choice as well right?
You CHOOSE how you look at those flaws, those things you don't like, you choose to make them a huge deal, you choose to react to them, you choose every single thing about how you deal w/them AND w/the person, and same goes for them. So you are choosing the bad road. Why?? "I will purposely fuck this up and CHOOSE to look at things in a bad light because I'm"......(insert word or should I say excuses) "an asshole", "immature", "a control freak", "a superior prick (man or woman applies) OR because of my own issues. "I am insecure", "I will be derisive to anyone who has the bad taste to like or love me", "I need more from them" (but I won't ask), "I need less from them" (but I won't tell). Oh it all just goes on and on, a neverending, catch 22 loop of disastrous choices and decisions.

People looking for perfection (whatever that means, though everyone would deny that, it's bullshit, they are. they're own version of perfection) are crazy. I don't mean mentally ill, just delusional, meaning living in a fantasy land as far as this topic is concerned. They will NEVER find what they are looking for. There are no guarantees for anything. There are no guarantees that ANY of us will even be here on earth for another day, another week, another year. So in the big picture, isn't it worth it? To take that jump, that leap? To live for today. The greater the risk, the greater the reward right? So what if it doesn't work out forever, for ALL of eternity? So what? Does anything? So what is the fallout? You are more hurt, more disillusioned? You experienced a million great things that you otherwise wouldn't have? and see THAT is another lie....."better to end it now before we get too deep into this thing and then really get hurt".  REALLY??? That is the better idea? To not experience great fun, great bonding, great passion, great everything, even great arguments, great LEARNING about our own flaws, great experiences in learning what works, what doesn't, learning HOW to be a great communicator, or a better one? Yeah, sounds much better to cut it short and never really experience anything then to actually experience ANYTHING!!! Really?? Seriously?? THAT is the better option? That sounds nuts to me (and that's coming from a girl who has mostly been scared shitless of men and commitment, since her HIDEOUS marriage when she was 19 to 20 something, but I still never gave up hope, thoughts for the future, when I was healed enough. And finally I got there). So yes, i AM willing to try and to fight for something good, for great experiences, bad and good, because it's better than fighting for nothing. Flat out nothing.

My personal fav is people who "end" something, something REAL (or that was supposedly real) via the most impersonal, clinical means possible. You saw, spoke to, were involved w/this person for however long and they (or you! and shame on you if you've done this) and this person was MEANINGFUL to you, you cared about this person to whatever extent and how is all of this intimate, bonding contact ended?? Through a text message, through an email, through a post it note (that's courtesy of "sex and the city"), through a voice mail.
WTF, again WTF!!!!! is THAT??? Seriously??? You don't even have the courtesy, the character, the BALLS, the fucking manners, a heart in your chest and a brain in your head to even TELL the person face to face?? Or even ear to ear?? Talk about insulting. That is about as low as you can get, oh and god forbid you dare FIND that offensive, what is wrong w/YOU to think that is highly insulting, hurtful, MEAN and downright the epitome of having not one once of class or even empathy. Yes, I know, it's the "easy" way out, that way you don't have to "man up" or have an actual conversation about it, or explain anything or dread of dreads actually DEAL w/something "yucky" that you're not (or never have been) in the mood for. What kind of person does things like that? A VERY selfish person.

I watched this really great and funny documentary a week or so ago this British guy did on his failed love life. He was in his 30's, alone, a loser and wondering where he went wrong. Yes, it was tongue in cheek and funny as hell but also true and accurate. As I said, a documentary.   The guy was a self proclaimed loser and all of the ex's complained that he was a loser, his mom said he was a loser, so I'M not labeling him a loser to be clear. He/they said he never had a job, a car, money......was 2 hrs late for everything he did, lied, didn't stick to his word, (hey isn't that most people? haha). extremely lazy, extremely irresponsible, shit his mom (whom he still lived above in his 30's) was still the only person (himself included), who did his laundry, cleaned his disgusting place, his hygiene was BAD!!! He always looked smelly and dirty, didn't even own a hairbrush, you get the idea. Just trying to paint the picture for you, that watching it painted for me. He made a list of all of his women/girls that he had any type of relationship with, that was of any consequence in his life and set out to interview them all. to be continued.....have to go to bed, praying they saved this, i hit save like 20 times.
oops i never posted this. not even sure if i was done. oh well, i'm posting anyway. :)

CHYNNA PHILLIPS IS OFFICIALLY AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!! AND a huge, snobby BITCH!!

yes, it's true. i have been watching a bit of the new wilson phillips reality show & i always had the vibe before (don't ask me where or how, being that i never listened to their music or anything, though how can you have avoided "hold on"? i do mostly know that song & i know the beach boys and the mama's and the papa's well! very well) that she was a huge bitch, snob, u name it and boy was i RIGHT!!! ahh it's hard being so right (and brilliant and intuitive ALL of the time, like i am. haha, i'm kidding)....

anyway, i also watch Dancing With the Stars, so i did experience her on there and she was SO fucking entitled!! she screwed up her dance the night before she was eliminated, yet seemed to think she was SUCH the shit, that she should have stayed forever regardless, and won as well i'm sure. she was so obviously pissed at being eliminated and it was anything BUT graceful, believe me, if you didn't see it. she had her tight butthole lips going and the icy stare. oh and my personal fav, during her rehearsals on that show, being miss "christian" and all, was praying nonstop and being crazy Jesus freak lady (no offense to normal Christians, cause there are some) & trying to act like miss goody two shoes and that her shit didnt' stink but THEN the moment she got pissed, frustrated, etc. she started letting out f bombs nonstop, saying Jesus would understand or however she worded it. 

oh i see, even Jesus bends his opinions according to miss chynna goddess of the earth phillips! why wouldn't he? she is after all, one of his more important subjects. :P

i've watched every season of DWTS and i have NEVER seen anyone come CLOSE to her arrogance and impertinence regarding ANYTHING on there, especially their elimination and there were plenty of people that were eliminated WAY before they should have been & they didn't have her angry, entitled bullshit and THEY hadnt' even royally fucked up their dance the night before!  they were sad, heartbroken, perhaps even shocked at their exit, YET totally grateful and happy for their experience. take a lesson miss phillips! 

what a piece of work. 

okay now onto what further irritated me about her. was watching the wilson phillips deal last night and chynna ALWAYS treats the wilson sisters as if they are her slaves, her peons, her villagers remiss in the worshiping (that should have 2 p's btw, is logical) of their Queen Chynna. this is interspersed w/her praying nonstop (for herself i'm sure. well yeah, she announces what she's praying for) and all of her glowing "christianity", so in between praying and putting them down and going off on them for some small or imagined slight, it's embarrassing. i hope she watches herself on the show and realizes what an ASSHOLE she truly is!! that is what makes "christians" so bad, in these cases, they go around announcing their holier than thou bullshit, while acting like total douches and making decent acting christians look like possible fools as well. 

i claim to be neither, just saying....

so on last nights episode she out of NOWHERE announces to one of the wilsons that she NEEDS to douche!! hello?? where did that come from?? did she have her face in her crotch?? could she smell her vagina from across the room or something?

oh and here's where it gets REALLY rich. she then announced that women live longer than men BECAUSE we are able to douche!!!!! i shit u not. because we are able to clean ourselves internally and men aren't. WHAT??????????? are u kidding me miss shit for brains?? 1. a douche PARTIALLY goes up into your vagina and that is IT!! 2. she acted like it's like a mouthwash for our organs. 3. douching is BAD for you!!!

she THEN announced that anyone who DOESN'T douche is an IDIOT!!! 

i hope she was looking in a mirror when she said that, but sadly she wasn't. 

let me insert a disclaimer here: i THOROUGHLY dislike people who spend their lives and their time online bashing others, especially celebs and people they don't know. everyone has an opinion right? i find it hateful, cruel, jealous, u name it. like they don't have their own lives so they can only live through others vicariously. but most especially why spread hatred, negativity, etc. hey i'm not perfect, i have STRONG opinions. if i think someone did or said something exceedingly stupid, i'm gonna say so (even TO my friends) but i'm not gonna hide behind a computer and spew hatred at whatever, i have better things to do. not trying to sound superior. so here's where the disclaimer comes in....again, we ALL have opinions right? well every so often someone says or does something SO asinine that i'm forced (haha, okay not forced) to report my opinion on how idiotic that was. so there. disclaimer. :)
lastly people, and most importantly:

 THE VAGINA IS A SELF CLEANING OVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

let me say it again: 

THE VAGINA IS A SELF CLEANING OVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it does NOT need to have things squirted up INTO it to have it be clean. only people that are idiots believe that and only uptight men and women who don't like the "smell". the type of people who HAVE to have each partner shower before EVER having sex. u know, people w/issues. 

yes, i understand in the past that douching was HUGE, hell my mom always had boxes of douches, i myself have douched a few times in my life, but that was before it was announced or discovered that it is quite bad for you. we NEED the good bacteria in there. douching can cause infections (yeast, others) and all kinds of problems. your regular hygiene and washing is MORE than enough to keep it clean and healthy!!!

i also understand that many men want it to smell like flowers or candy or something, that is NOT what it is meant to smell like. do their balls smell like flowers or candy? ha, i WISH!! should we tell them to go give their balls a sitz bath before we go anywhere near them?

no. the point IS: if you love someone and are turned on by someone, you will LOVE and be TURNED ON by EVERY part of them!!! i'm not saying if someone has an odor problem from health reasons or something that we should love to smell that. nope. just stating in general that everything is the way it is for a reason chynna phillips. so call ME an idiot for not wanting to give myself infections while i pray. jesus! ha. no pun. 

speaking of vaginas and balls...........OH SHIT , OOPS CAPS. anyway, i have to go now, i will come back to what i was going to further say, which is about pubic hair. ha