i didn't realize it was this late. my big day off, so i tell myself i should get rested to start work again and yet i also tell myself it's my time off so i should enjoy every second. so here u have me still up. i'm tired as fuck though.
omg check THIS out!!! i don't know if i've mentioned this but i HATE HATE HATE when people (well certain people) ask me why i'm up so late or "oh yeah you're always up late huh?" but it's NOT what they are saying or asking, it's HOW they are saying it. like it's an accusation.
like there was this one guy on myspace, some band guy who was always up late like me and would email me and it would only be 12 am, 1 am, 2 at the absolute max. i don't think 1am is all that friggin late do u? and EVERY fucking time he would mention me being up late and ask me what kind of drugs i was on. every time i'd be like i don't take drugs, i dont' even drink caffeine, i'm just a night person AND i start work late and stay working late and i get insomnia too. so i told him this over and over and over and over. at first nicely and then kind of defensively, because he continued to say it a million times and THEN i was offended because he was basically calling me a liar! HE was on drugs, not me! so i was insulted.
anyway, so i hate when people ask me in a shitty, accusatory type way why i'm up so late. anyone who says it nicely or whatever, i'm cool with. i guess it just boils down to manners or intention?
sooo.....this guy that i used to date, couple yrs back has gotten back in touch w/me recently and i guess i'm ok w/being his friend and only his friend. he is kind of an arrogant prick in some ways and he has not ONE reason to be like that. he's a big skinny dork and that's one reason i stopped seeing him. his bony body grossed me out, i didn't want to touch it or have it next to me or anything, even though HE thinks he's a sex machine.
oh so he called me again recently, it was like 1am and we talked til like 2 even though i didn't want to but i was being polite. anyway, this guy said something about "oh yeah u stay up late huh"? and i was like yeah but wtf HE is the one calling me at 1am!!! on a sunday night no less.
then he asked me in that weird accusatory way why i was up so late. like what does he think? that i'm fucking tweeking or something? seriously! wtf? so he asked why i was up so late and i said i work late. i sometimes don't get off til midnight or so, so it's only an hour after that so that's really not late for me is it?
but he continued to act like i was up sooooo late. he was up after all and he acted like it was 4 am or something. i said how many people do you know who get off work at 5 pm and run home and go to bed right away or even at 7pm? he's like "oh good point, i never thought of that". no shit sherlock. anyway it annoyed me.
i'm the most honest person there is and i volunteer all kinds of shit and if i was on speed or even drinking coffee or anything else to "be up so late" i'd say so! god. people can be sooo annoying sometimes!
oh oh that asshole on myspace that i mentioned i finally every time i saw HIM on late which was all the time, if it was after midnight, i'd write him and go "what are u doing up so late? put down the crack pipe" and shit like that. i just tortured him, in a funny way. he got ALL offended even though i know he does drugs. i mean he's a musician for one and there was stuff on his page and in his attitude that told me so. then i was sick of him and deleted him. haha. someone really has to be a total tool for me to delete them, i will put up w/a lot it seems
Jul 20, 2010
Jun 2, 2010
do the majority of people get into relationships out of FEAR???
do u need another person to be happy, meaning a significant other? u know i have many friends that got married or whatever and i would never want their relationships (but then i have friends or family in amazing, happy relationships too. not many but a few). they are miserable or fight all the time or mismatched. i think THAT is the reason that so many relationships don't last, because people get involved w/someone for all the wrong reasons....because they are needy/clingy/desperate, afraid of getting old, afraid to be alone, afraid their time is running out, afraid their looks are going, afraid they won't be able to have children if they want them, afraid they won't find someone "better", afraid they won't meet someone else...... wow, most of it boils down to fear huh? i was just realizing that as i was typing. wow, that's interesting now that i think of it. most of the women i know who got married it was for all of those reasons i listed. oh someone to take care of them, that too. that was a big one for a couple of them at least. some of them had lists of the things they wanted the guys to buy for/do for them. yeah i can think of 4 of my girl friends who had that, the want of someone to buy for them and take care of them, even if they had to trick the guy to get it. lame huh? sad, dishonest and very lame.
but then there is the other side of the coin people who are SO picky that their dream person simply doesn't exist. except in a actress or supermodel or goddess but then that's perception to some degree and more importantly someone they could never get! a guy dreaming over this perfect girl thinking some rich gorgeous model will be all in love w/him when he's a broke toad who lives w/his parents and doesn't have a job or whatever and yet somehow he thinks he deserves some amazing visage of womanhood. wtf is up w/that??
in line w/the above, another big mistake people make is going by attraction and attraction only. LUST!! or their physical "ideal". if he/she is super "hot" or fit what they want physically, that's good enough for them, they will overlook everything else, it doesn't matter if they have anything in common or a brain or are a good person or a good personality or much internal stuff, as long as they look good and of course that only lasts so long too. sure i'm generalizing here but i've seen it and heard about it countless times. i have a friend who's a bassist in a band, he's really talented actually. he's fairly young, great looking, super smart, funny, cool, etc and he is always telling me how he's w/some dumb blond for years and years because she (the current one) is "so hot" and that he doesn't get tired of looking at her, but he can't talk to them, they are stupid (according to him), they are boring and horrible in bed, they have nothing in common but he never gets tired of looking at them and that is why he stays. those are his exact words. he just has great sex on the side w/someone who's not super hot. secretly of course. sad huh?
(in response to a friend's email) off on a tangent again and i didnt' even answer your question. to answer it, it's a combination of things...i've dated a LOT, too much probably in the last 10 yrs or so when i decided i actually might like someone cool in my life, not even to get married or anything, just to spend time w/or maybe even a boyfriend and it just never worked out or worked out long enough. people weren't honest about who they were and more importantly HOW they were and yeah, some might say my standards are too high but they aren't. my standards are really simple.....things like honesty, a good person, really basic shit, but in this day and age i think i'm a throwback to another time. people being honest? being real? god forbid! they will just tell you whatever you want to hear to get whatever they want to get.
no i'm not bitter or a man hater or anything like that. i think men are great. i really do. there just aren't a lot of good ones out there so i'd rather go w/out than be w/someone who's not what i want or just to be w/someone, what's the point? people can be pretty damn happy when they are on their own. lonely doesn't come from being "alone". lonely is a whole different deal.
so yeah i keep myself happy. me, my friends, my family, my interests and yes, i'm busy too.
i'm a romantic too, believe it or not. i do (or want to) believe in "the one" or soul mates, i think we all probably have a few though. i do believe in that stuff. i do believe in everlasting (or close to it) love but i also know that love and relationships take work, it's not just a magically hormonal fairy tale where everything just falls into place and no one ever fights or works at it. in fact like they say, isn't anything worth having worth the effort it takes to have it? i would think so. i'm not talking drudgery. of course you should get far more pleasure from it than "work".
that's great that your friend's girl was there for him. i know that feeling, when you see someone being really great for their significant other or you see a really happy couple or you're at a wedding and you get all choked up thinking "ahh, wouldn't that be great if i had that too?". so yeah, i believe in love, i believe in romance and all of that good stuff and i've had it. i've been pretty lucky, it's just been awhile and i hope to have it again someday. :)
and yo'ure right, you're VERY young, you shouldn't be all tied down, you should be having fun and doing what you want. that doesnt' mean be a big player and become a serial dater or whatever. still respect women and treat them right and be honest w/them and everything else. it's good practice.
haha i heard a story once about a guy who totally used and lied to a woman and moved on of course then years later he was going for this job he wanted desperately, his dream job....and turned out SHE was going to be his boss and was the one who had the decision of hiring him or not. needless to say he had burned his bridge long ago. you never know when shit will bite you in the ass.
i guess that's karma in action right there? oooh and another thing, i've had a number of guy friends who would use women and lie to them and all of that, being like "oh she knows what the deal is, i don't need to tell her" and not feeling guilty or badly in the least. THEN would come the magical day when they would meet "the one" and would be all smitten and ready to now be a good guy no matter what and the woman wanted nothing to do w/them and they were all crushed and crying about how and why didnt' she like them and how horrible it was to wait on her phone calls or wonder what she was up to and how could she lead him on, etc. etc. and i was thinking "but you never had compassion for all the girls you did that to without a thought?". karma again? i would think so.
i've gotten to the point that all of that shit: meeting, talking (if you're lucky), dating, getting to know someone, seeing if you like each other.....blah blah blah blah, has just not been worth it to me for awhile now. it seems pointless or fruitless i guess. i wish you could just hand out a resume or something or a list and ask each other if they fit it and if not just move on quickly, it always seems to turn out to be the same story or another disappointment, so i figure when/if a guy likes me he can do something about it. key word: DO!!
our current society of men has gotten sooooooo bloody lazy. they expect everything to be instant, to be handed to them, w/little or no effort. they want to text a booty call and have YOU come over even. they can't be bothered to even call or ask you out or offer to come to you or anything else, and noooo, i don't do that and yes, i DO blame women too for putting up w/so little effort that men think it's okay to behave that way, because they get away w/it. it's sad. i miss when a man was a man, but maybe i didn't even live in that era? now men want women to earn at least half of the money AND wait on them AND be their delivery girl and their instant sex girl and worship them and everything else. you sign online and instantly people are im'ing you asking if you're horny or do you have a webcam, it's offensive. without even saying hello, asking how you are or even pretending to be interested in your mind or anything else. they don't seem to give a shit about you. well seem is a bad word, of course they don't give a shit about you, they make it abundantly clear what their interests are. so 3 steps forward and 2 steps back as far as technology goes. we are more "connected" yet more separate than ever. i'm not saying that men should blindly worship women, which is more the way it used to be or maybe i'm mistaken on that?
i don't know......it's just difficult i guess. :)
but they way we are built an element of that does work and does help. men are supposed to make women feel good and vice versa but we each have very different needs.
but then there is the other side of the coin people who are SO picky that their dream person simply doesn't exist. except in a actress or supermodel or goddess but then that's perception to some degree and more importantly someone they could never get! a guy dreaming over this perfect girl thinking some rich gorgeous model will be all in love w/him when he's a broke toad who lives w/his parents and doesn't have a job or whatever and yet somehow he thinks he deserves some amazing visage of womanhood. wtf is up w/that??
in line w/the above, another big mistake people make is going by attraction and attraction only. LUST!! or their physical "ideal". if he/she is super "hot" or fit what they want physically, that's good enough for them, they will overlook everything else, it doesn't matter if they have anything in common or a brain or are a good person or a good personality or much internal stuff, as long as they look good and of course that only lasts so long too. sure i'm generalizing here but i've seen it and heard about it countless times. i have a friend who's a bassist in a band, he's really talented actually. he's fairly young, great looking, super smart, funny, cool, etc and he is always telling me how he's w/some dumb blond for years and years because she (the current one) is "so hot" and that he doesn't get tired of looking at her, but he can't talk to them, they are stupid (according to him), they are boring and horrible in bed, they have nothing in common but he never gets tired of looking at them and that is why he stays. those are his exact words. he just has great sex on the side w/someone who's not super hot. secretly of course. sad huh?
(in response to a friend's email) off on a tangent again and i didnt' even answer your question. to answer it, it's a combination of things...i've dated a LOT, too much probably in the last 10 yrs or so when i decided i actually might like someone cool in my life, not even to get married or anything, just to spend time w/or maybe even a boyfriend and it just never worked out or worked out long enough. people weren't honest about who they were and more importantly HOW they were and yeah, some might say my standards are too high but they aren't. my standards are really simple.....things like honesty, a good person, really basic shit, but in this day and age i think i'm a throwback to another time. people being honest? being real? god forbid! they will just tell you whatever you want to hear to get whatever they want to get.
no i'm not bitter or a man hater or anything like that. i think men are great. i really do. there just aren't a lot of good ones out there so i'd rather go w/out than be w/someone who's not what i want or just to be w/someone, what's the point? people can be pretty damn happy when they are on their own. lonely doesn't come from being "alone". lonely is a whole different deal.
so yeah i keep myself happy. me, my friends, my family, my interests and yes, i'm busy too.
i'm a romantic too, believe it or not. i do (or want to) believe in "the one" or soul mates, i think we all probably have a few though. i do believe in that stuff. i do believe in everlasting (or close to it) love but i also know that love and relationships take work, it's not just a magically hormonal fairy tale where everything just falls into place and no one ever fights or works at it. in fact like they say, isn't anything worth having worth the effort it takes to have it? i would think so. i'm not talking drudgery. of course you should get far more pleasure from it than "work".
that's great that your friend's girl was there for him. i know that feeling, when you see someone being really great for their significant other or you see a really happy couple or you're at a wedding and you get all choked up thinking "ahh, wouldn't that be great if i had that too?". so yeah, i believe in love, i believe in romance and all of that good stuff and i've had it. i've been pretty lucky, it's just been awhile and i hope to have it again someday. :)
and yo'ure right, you're VERY young, you shouldn't be all tied down, you should be having fun and doing what you want. that doesnt' mean be a big player and become a serial dater or whatever. still respect women and treat them right and be honest w/them and everything else. it's good practice.
haha i heard a story once about a guy who totally used and lied to a woman and moved on of course then years later he was going for this job he wanted desperately, his dream job....and turned out SHE was going to be his boss and was the one who had the decision of hiring him or not. needless to say he had burned his bridge long ago. you never know when shit will bite you in the ass.
i guess that's karma in action right there? oooh and another thing, i've had a number of guy friends who would use women and lie to them and all of that, being like "oh she knows what the deal is, i don't need to tell her" and not feeling guilty or badly in the least. THEN would come the magical day when they would meet "the one" and would be all smitten and ready to now be a good guy no matter what and the woman wanted nothing to do w/them and they were all crushed and crying about how and why didnt' she like them and how horrible it was to wait on her phone calls or wonder what she was up to and how could she lead him on, etc. etc. and i was thinking "but you never had compassion for all the girls you did that to without a thought?". karma again? i would think so.
i've gotten to the point that all of that shit: meeting, talking (if you're lucky), dating, getting to know someone, seeing if you like each other.....blah blah blah blah, has just not been worth it to me for awhile now. it seems pointless or fruitless i guess. i wish you could just hand out a resume or something or a list and ask each other if they fit it and if not just move on quickly, it always seems to turn out to be the same story or another disappointment, so i figure when/if a guy likes me he can do something about it. key word: DO!!
our current society of men has gotten sooooooo bloody lazy. they expect everything to be instant, to be handed to them, w/little or no effort. they want to text a booty call and have YOU come over even. they can't be bothered to even call or ask you out or offer to come to you or anything else, and noooo, i don't do that and yes, i DO blame women too for putting up w/so little effort that men think it's okay to behave that way, because they get away w/it. it's sad. i miss when a man was a man, but maybe i didn't even live in that era? now men want women to earn at least half of the money AND wait on them AND be their delivery girl and their instant sex girl and worship them and everything else. you sign online and instantly people are im'ing you asking if you're horny or do you have a webcam, it's offensive. without even saying hello, asking how you are or even pretending to be interested in your mind or anything else. they don't seem to give a shit about you. well seem is a bad word, of course they don't give a shit about you, they make it abundantly clear what their interests are. so 3 steps forward and 2 steps back as far as technology goes. we are more "connected" yet more separate than ever. i'm not saying that men should blindly worship women, which is more the way it used to be or maybe i'm mistaken on that?
i don't know......it's just difficult i guess. :)
but they way we are built an element of that does work and does help. men are supposed to make women feel good and vice versa but we each have very different needs.
May 25, 2010
check this out...i saw this guy's profile...
| Why You Should Get to Know Me |
| ...bullshit. We're made to answer stupid questions that really don't bring us closer to anyone, and instead have the opposite effect of pushing us away. I see a lot of women that I'm attracted to; women that by virtue of their smile, or their beauty - what's attractive to me - make me want to email them. But then when I read their profile, I read that I'm 3 inches less in height than she's wanting, or 4 years too old for what she's looking for, blah blah blah. But is that truly what matters...what matters more than anything to that person? I don't know. But because she answered the way she did, I decide not to email her and thus nothing is potentially begun between us. And here's the crazy as shit sad thing for that woman - or man, because I know many women are thinking the same thing about what us men answered - and that's that she has no idea who the hell I am, or what I've done with my life. She has no idea how much money I make. She has no idea that I could be a millionaire with an amazing job, and that all I'm wanting to do is settle down and buy a house and start a family...or help put my new girlfriend - her - through her master's program. Or that I own properties in Europe and live there 6 months out of the year? Where's that box for me to answer those important questions on this site? Because let's be honest...isn't that what's most important; knowing that as a woman you'll be taken care of? That he's financially secure? (If that's what you're wanting, which come on...it is.) That he's got a great job, lives a certain type of lifestyle, has no debts, and flys all over the world whenever the hell he wants? Instead, none of you will know any of that stuff. All you'll know by looking at my profile, for example, is that I don't fit your "answers"; I'm 3 inches shorter than you say you want, or 4 years out of your age range. So don't you think it'd be better - when making an informed judgement on someone - to have all the facts? I do...but call me crazy. I didn't create this site, I'm just trying to improve it and expose it's flaws. Tell me, knowing someone has no debts and a net worth of 3 million dollars wouldn't perhaps influence your choosing to email that guy back or not...even if he was 4 years older than originally you were seeking?? But let's go ahead and reject everyone based on the less important stats..because yeah, I'd much rather be with a woman that fits my exact shopping list, then someone with whom I really might get along better with, if I knew the important things about her. (Does she have a good job? is she a woman who wants to change the world? Does she just want her man to work? Did she marry stupid, get divorced, and now needs a man to help her out?) But I'll never know so long as we're made to write down the most shallow crap about ourselves, instead of the revelatory stuff. (Religion aside because I do think that's important to people. Not to me, but most people require you be of the same faith as them. Zzzzzz to that. Yeah...thanks for all the wars, religion! Good for you!) If you agree with me - great - if not, then I don't care. I really don't. If it takes 1000 silly, insubstantial women to be pissed at me, just to get to the one cool girl that agrees with me, I can more than live with that. Oh yes, I can. Cheers! |
| More About What I Am Looking For | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| You know, it'd be nice to meet a kind woman. Someone who isn't self-involved. Someone who asks as many questions about me, as I do about her. 37 year old Man in Los Angeles, California
|
Jan 26, 2010
Ageism. One of the last acceptable prejudices!!
yeah, it's true and unfortunately pretty sad. well, all prejudices are sad, are they not? i was watching "the bachelor" (yeah chortle at me all u like but i do like some cheesy tv and reality shows. i either find them entertaining, interesting OR so badly "funny" or "interesting" as in a train wreck or something of that nature. i know a lot of people like to watch silly or lame people to feel better about themselves. like jerry springer fans, most probably feel superior knowing that no matter what may be wrong in their own lives that at least they are nowhere near as "bad" or embarrassing as all the folks on springer.
oh. so as i was saying, i was watching "the bachelor" earlier tonight and i don't know the exact age of the bachelor guy but i DO know that he's in his 30's. maybe 35? 31? who knows. but the point is that he IS in his 30's and almost EVERY woman, or girl should i say is in her 20's, her EARLY 20's!! wtf is that?? why would a guy (or anyone for that matter) want to spend the rest of their LIFE w/someone who is a decade to 15 yrs younger!?? no, i'm not an ageist and sure you can have stuff in common w/people of almost any age and i'm not against people dating or marrying someone much younger OR much older. i do think age is just a number in many ways.
BUT let's be realistic here too....this guy is planning to MARRY whichever woman he chooses and how much can you have in common, but more importantly life experience w/someone who is a decade or more younger than your age? not to go back and forth, but again i'm ALL for learning new things from people and not being so identical in experiences that you are the bobsy (is that the right word and/or spelling) twins. i think that is one of the best parts of a relationship, turning each other onto your own views, tastes and experiences.
that being said, i think that people w/that big of an age difference will most likely not have enough in common or work out in the long term. an old best friend of mine used to always tell me that it's CRUCIAL to find someone who has a very similar life experience and even upbringing to yours. meaning that it can't be so foreign (in fact, she felt that if anyone fell in love w/a "foreigner" that it wouldn't work unless again you had very similar life experiences. i don't know that i would agree w/that. i think that relationships work out and don't work out based on sooo many factors and you can't pigeon hole everything to that degree. but hell, maybe she's right? i don't know) because you will basically never "get" each other enough.
ok back to the age difference thing: let's consider the maturity factor alone. HOW is someone in their early 20's (even if they are the most mature person in the world) going to have the maturity and even depth of a 30 something? they won't basically. THEN let's consider the changes factor. think of how much you change from your 20's to your 30's. what a different person you are. they say your 20's are for figuring out WHO you are and i agree. even if your tastes stay the same and so on, you don't. even your life usually changes hugely. because the more you live, the more you learn and the more you shift in who you are.
let's say that i'm a 28 year old woman and i get involved w/or even marry an 18 year old man, though i would still consider him a boy, emotionally anyway. again, could be a VERY mature guy and sure that might help a lot but in general.....of course, we could and probably would have all the attraction and chemistry in the world. the sex could even be mind blowing. well i would certainly hope so! :P and let's say that we have TONS in common, same film taste, same books, same sports, same music, even a very similar upbringing right? (and this may be an asinine statement due to the staying power of ANY relationship these days) but how long would it last? even if he has had jobs before and his own place briefly and maybe even been in love before, he would have VERY different experiences and views on those things. let's say he thinks you should blow every paycheck that you make and the money for rent or bills will "take care of themselves" when the time comes. OR (and this is very common) he is so new to relationships that he totally romanticizes them (i'm a romantic too, i get it. but i'm also a realist) and he thinks that love and relationships take NO work at all. it's just happy fa la la all the time and if you have to discuss or argue about anything or any problems arise, even about the toothpaste or whatever then he's like "oh this is too hard or we're not meant for each other because everything is not dream world every second". ha! i had one younger boyfriend who told me that it was a FACT that if you have to work on ANYTHING in a relationship or it is difficult for even a second that you just weren't meant for each other and there is a magical person out there that IS meant for you, where everything will just be peaches and cream and smooth sailing. haha. i asked him what he was smoking.
true there should be far more good than bad and if you're at each others throats about everything, you're probably not a great match but come on! it's like having a job. do you expect to go there and lollygag around and socialize all day and just get to your work if the mood strikes? of course not. to get almost anything good in your life, it takes work. hard work! and a lot of it. sure some people get lucky or i would call it more happenstance, because i think in general we make our own luck and the harder we work the luckier we get.
haha. here i am debating w/myself. but i was thinking all of these things (and more) while watching that show. who knew "the bachelor" was capable of inspiring deep thoughts?
ok i'm gonna stop rambling. i'm afraid they aren't going to save this, as i typed some last night and some right now. i should post it.
oh. so as i was saying, i was watching "the bachelor" earlier tonight and i don't know the exact age of the bachelor guy but i DO know that he's in his 30's. maybe 35? 31? who knows. but the point is that he IS in his 30's and almost EVERY woman, or girl should i say is in her 20's, her EARLY 20's!! wtf is that?? why would a guy (or anyone for that matter) want to spend the rest of their LIFE w/someone who is a decade to 15 yrs younger!?? no, i'm not an ageist and sure you can have stuff in common w/people of almost any age and i'm not against people dating or marrying someone much younger OR much older. i do think age is just a number in many ways.
BUT let's be realistic here too....this guy is planning to MARRY whichever woman he chooses and how much can you have in common, but more importantly life experience w/someone who is a decade or more younger than your age? not to go back and forth, but again i'm ALL for learning new things from people and not being so identical in experiences that you are the bobsy (is that the right word and/or spelling) twins. i think that is one of the best parts of a relationship, turning each other onto your own views, tastes and experiences.
that being said, i think that people w/that big of an age difference will most likely not have enough in common or work out in the long term. an old best friend of mine used to always tell me that it's CRUCIAL to find someone who has a very similar life experience and even upbringing to yours. meaning that it can't be so foreign (in fact, she felt that if anyone fell in love w/a "foreigner" that it wouldn't work unless again you had very similar life experiences. i don't know that i would agree w/that. i think that relationships work out and don't work out based on sooo many factors and you can't pigeon hole everything to that degree. but hell, maybe she's right? i don't know) because you will basically never "get" each other enough.
ok back to the age difference thing: let's consider the maturity factor alone. HOW is someone in their early 20's (even if they are the most mature person in the world) going to have the maturity and even depth of a 30 something? they won't basically. THEN let's consider the changes factor. think of how much you change from your 20's to your 30's. what a different person you are. they say your 20's are for figuring out WHO you are and i agree. even if your tastes stay the same and so on, you don't. even your life usually changes hugely. because the more you live, the more you learn and the more you shift in who you are.
let's say that i'm a 28 year old woman and i get involved w/or even marry an 18 year old man, though i would still consider him a boy, emotionally anyway. again, could be a VERY mature guy and sure that might help a lot but in general.....of course, we could and probably would have all the attraction and chemistry in the world. the sex could even be mind blowing. well i would certainly hope so! :P and let's say that we have TONS in common, same film taste, same books, same sports, same music, even a very similar upbringing right? (and this may be an asinine statement due to the staying power of ANY relationship these days) but how long would it last? even if he has had jobs before and his own place briefly and maybe even been in love before, he would have VERY different experiences and views on those things. let's say he thinks you should blow every paycheck that you make and the money for rent or bills will "take care of themselves" when the time comes. OR (and this is very common) he is so new to relationships that he totally romanticizes them (i'm a romantic too, i get it. but i'm also a realist) and he thinks that love and relationships take NO work at all. it's just happy fa la la all the time and if you have to discuss or argue about anything or any problems arise, even about the toothpaste or whatever then he's like "oh this is too hard or we're not meant for each other because everything is not dream world every second". ha! i had one younger boyfriend who told me that it was a FACT that if you have to work on ANYTHING in a relationship or it is difficult for even a second that you just weren't meant for each other and there is a magical person out there that IS meant for you, where everything will just be peaches and cream and smooth sailing. haha. i asked him what he was smoking.
true there should be far more good than bad and if you're at each others throats about everything, you're probably not a great match but come on! it's like having a job. do you expect to go there and lollygag around and socialize all day and just get to your work if the mood strikes? of course not. to get almost anything good in your life, it takes work. hard work! and a lot of it. sure some people get lucky or i would call it more happenstance, because i think in general we make our own luck and the harder we work the luckier we get.
haha. here i am debating w/myself. but i was thinking all of these things (and more) while watching that show. who knew "the bachelor" was capable of inspiring deep thoughts?
ok i'm gonna stop rambling. i'm afraid they aren't going to save this, as i typed some last night and some right now. i should post it.
Dec 31, 2009
is it me or are people sniffing too much glue?
i have seen some "friends" posting day after day shit on obama and how he's doing this or that (foul thing) and he's guilty of treason and on and on and on.
ok i DO keep politically aware, though i am the first to admit i'm not as informed as i could or should be at all times. hell i have a life after all.
BUT i know enough to know that these people are fucking high!!! they also claim that W. was some amazing president and ask what did he possibly do wrong? basically that he's some kind of fucking saint 8th wonder of the world.
it would take me all day or more to list that for them.
i respect everyone's opinions. well, most....total dumb asses, no i can't, but i still will try to see where they are coming from AND i respect everyone's freedom to voice their thoughts, views and opinions but come the fuck on!!
am i wrong here? wait, i guess that's not the point, i'm not trying to be "right" i'm simply trying to be logical.
the things they say and the way they act is as if someone burned down a building right before your eyes, there were tons of people witnessing it, talking to you about it, you SAW it, you could even watch it on the news and look it up online, etc. and you're insisting that the building never burned or worse that the building never existed. wtf people?
i guess there is something to living in a fool's paradise. :)
ok i DO keep politically aware, though i am the first to admit i'm not as informed as i could or should be at all times. hell i have a life after all.
BUT i know enough to know that these people are fucking high!!! they also claim that W. was some amazing president and ask what did he possibly do wrong? basically that he's some kind of fucking saint 8th wonder of the world.
it would take me all day or more to list that for them.
i respect everyone's opinions. well, most....total dumb asses, no i can't, but i still will try to see where they are coming from AND i respect everyone's freedom to voice their thoughts, views and opinions but come the fuck on!!
am i wrong here? wait, i guess that's not the point, i'm not trying to be "right" i'm simply trying to be logical.
the things they say and the way they act is as if someone burned down a building right before your eyes, there were tons of people witnessing it, talking to you about it, you SAW it, you could even watch it on the news and look it up online, etc. and you're insisting that the building never burned or worse that the building never existed. wtf people?
i guess there is something to living in a fool's paradise. :)
Aug 25, 2008
Skin Care and Exfoliation tips!! feel free to ask for advice!
the reason hope in a jar is so great, other than the rave reviews and the amazingly reasonable price for a high end product, is other than the antioxidants, etc that are great for your skin but it's mainly the lactic acid and the other aha's that REALLY help out our skin. one of our main skin issues is the build up of dead skin, which we develop at an amazing rate, daily...... it causes acne, lines, our sun spots and damage are sitting on the surface as well as underneath, depending. also dullness, uneven pigmentation and texture. it's HUGE, but especially as we get older, it slows down our new skin renewal rate and even worse, our own natural sloughing of the dead skin. that is why I get dryness and some peeling and such on my own skin!
so with the lactic acid (The best aha) and the other ahas, it is MAKING the skin then renew and make ready to shed that dead skin. which it can do on it's own, but i think that everyone needs to exfoliate as well, to help it along cause it's still too slow. and as i mentioned oprah uses this cream and i NEVER see A DROP of dead, peeling, dry skin on her face! granted she has the best of everything and surely gets great facials and all to take care of that.
some of that stuff is hype and bs though, that's what i hated when i was working for cosmetic companies. lying about stuff that doesn't work. sure some does, but the cellulite stuff no, it can create a SMOOTHER appearance, because it's caffeine which is a diuretic and makes the area lose water so it's doesn't look so bumpy. get this, i was working for christian dior, lancome, guinot, etc in bev hills and there is a famous famous dior ad for their cellulite cream that was in vogue and all the huge magazines for years back in the 90's, maybe even now and we had one in our store. it was a pic of a "woman's" ass and long, beautiful, thin, perfect thighs. just that, no face, no body and she had some fabric, i think it was orange? draped around her vagina area and of course cosmetic co.s use false advertising all the time which i wonder how they can, i know it's a fine line...for example EVERY mascara ad, every one i've ever seen....the model/actress ALWAYS has false eyelashes on in the ad or on tv. every time. and yet they can pretend it's just the mascara. how do they get away w/that?
sooo.....that pic, that ad, he legs/butt were incredible and i used to always look at it and go "man that cream must really work!" then at one point, the dior reps came in to give us product classes and tons of gratis, man i LOVED the gratis! nothing better than free makeup/skin care. so dior was out and one of the reps told us that "woman" in the cellulite ad was a 14 yr old girl!!! figures huh? once again a lie to make us feel not beautiful or perfect enough.
ok yeah so the lactic acid is great but you always have to make sure it's a high enough percentage to be effective, cause most aren't. but even w/that i recommend exfoliation, at least twice a week, depending on skin type, more for oily skin. and i DON'T like the ones that are too creamy or the exfoliation delivery is too tiny, it's not enough. and the creamy thing is a cheat, leaving on a residue so your skin feels all soft, making you think it's from getting the dead off, when really it's just the leftover emollient on your skin surface. and i like one w/a stronger grain BUT you have to be careful, some are apricot shell kernels and such which are TOO hard and too sharp and are cutting and damaging your skin, almost microscopically, but still damaging and yes, visible to the eye, upon close examination
. i really like the mary kay microderm system. i can see the results RIGHT after using it. so much dead skin is cleared off that i can then sit at my magnifying mirror and all these pores are now free and cleared up, well, meaning all the dead skin blocking the surface of them is gone. or a good amount of it. and THEN i can "empty" my pores, do extraction very easily, wheareas i couldn't before, with too much blockage with the dead skin.
ALL my life, since i was a kid, i ALWAYS gave myself facials. i would steam it over the stove, exfoliate, masque, etc and i swear that's when my skin was pretty much always amazing. then i stopped for the most part some years ago. it's rare that i ever use a masque anymore. once in awhile i will use a moisturizing masque, when i'm dry and flaky and dull looking, but i stopped the thing that i had done my whole life! and duh! it finallly hit me! why did i stop? my skin was much better when i was. i'm now getting back into that. funny considering i've spent years giving people facials. even my son! he would bitch and moan when i'd insist, cause he'd get blackheads, not a lot, and congested pores, a few pimples....so i wanted to clean that stuff out for him. he HATED the extraction part but i would do the whole kit and kaboodle too. the steaming, the cleansing, masquing, exfoliation, so on, and then the massage, the best part, which is soooooo good for your skin, circulation, removing toxins, keeping it firm, moist, pliable, youthful. but feels amazing too. so he loved the massage so much and i do back of neck, top of shoulders, scalp, occipital bone.
any skin, makeup or hair questions....if anyone out there is reading this, please feel free to ask me!
thanks
so with the lactic acid (The best aha) and the other ahas, it is MAKING the skin then renew and make ready to shed that dead skin. which it can do on it's own, but i think that everyone needs to exfoliate as well, to help it along cause it's still too slow. and as i mentioned oprah uses this cream and i NEVER see A DROP of dead, peeling, dry skin on her face! granted she has the best of everything and surely gets great facials and all to take care of that.
some of that stuff is hype and bs though, that's what i hated when i was working for cosmetic companies. lying about stuff that doesn't work. sure some does, but the cellulite stuff no, it can create a SMOOTHER appearance, because it's caffeine which is a diuretic and makes the area lose water so it's doesn't look so bumpy. get this, i was working for christian dior, lancome, guinot, etc in bev hills and there is a famous famous dior ad for their cellulite cream that was in vogue and all the huge magazines for years back in the 90's, maybe even now and we had one in our store. it was a pic of a "woman's" ass and long, beautiful, thin, perfect thighs. just that, no face, no body and she had some fabric, i think it was orange? draped around her vagina area and of course cosmetic co.s use false advertising all the time which i wonder how they can, i know it's a fine line...for example EVERY mascara ad, every one i've ever seen....the model/actress ALWAYS has false eyelashes on in the ad or on tv. every time. and yet they can pretend it's just the mascara. how do they get away w/that?
sooo.....that pic, that ad, he legs/butt were incredible and i used to always look at it and go "man that cream must really work!" then at one point, the dior reps came in to give us product classes and tons of gratis, man i LOVED the gratis! nothing better than free makeup/skin care. so dior was out and one of the reps told us that "woman" in the cellulite ad was a 14 yr old girl!!! figures huh? once again a lie to make us feel not beautiful or perfect enough.
ok yeah so the lactic acid is great but you always have to make sure it's a high enough percentage to be effective, cause most aren't. but even w/that i recommend exfoliation, at least twice a week, depending on skin type, more for oily skin. and i DON'T like the ones that are too creamy or the exfoliation delivery is too tiny, it's not enough. and the creamy thing is a cheat, leaving on a residue so your skin feels all soft, making you think it's from getting the dead off, when really it's just the leftover emollient on your skin surface. and i like one w/a stronger grain BUT you have to be careful, some are apricot shell kernels and such which are TOO hard and too sharp and are cutting and damaging your skin, almost microscopically, but still damaging and yes, visible to the eye, upon close examination
. i really like the mary kay microderm system. i can see the results RIGHT after using it. so much dead skin is cleared off that i can then sit at my magnifying mirror and all these pores are now free and cleared up, well, meaning all the dead skin blocking the surface of them is gone. or a good amount of it. and THEN i can "empty" my pores, do extraction very easily, wheareas i couldn't before, with too much blockage with the dead skin.
ALL my life, since i was a kid, i ALWAYS gave myself facials. i would steam it over the stove, exfoliate, masque, etc and i swear that's when my skin was pretty much always amazing. then i stopped for the most part some years ago. it's rare that i ever use a masque anymore. once in awhile i will use a moisturizing masque, when i'm dry and flaky and dull looking, but i stopped the thing that i had done my whole life! and duh! it finallly hit me! why did i stop? my skin was much better when i was. i'm now getting back into that. funny considering i've spent years giving people facials. even my son! he would bitch and moan when i'd insist, cause he'd get blackheads, not a lot, and congested pores, a few pimples....so i wanted to clean that stuff out for him. he HATED the extraction part but i would do the whole kit and kaboodle too. the steaming, the cleansing, masquing, exfoliation, so on, and then the massage, the best part, which is soooooo good for your skin, circulation, removing toxins, keeping it firm, moist, pliable, youthful. but feels amazing too. so he loved the massage so much and i do back of neck, top of shoulders, scalp, occipital bone.
any skin, makeup or hair questions....if anyone out there is reading this, please feel free to ask me!
thanks
Apr 29, 2008
Miley Cyrus' "NAKED pictures" in Vanity Fair........
well, as everyone knows, miley cyrus posed for pictures for vanity fair, with and without her father. now everyone is in a HUGE uproar saying that they are too provocative, too sexy, too "exposed", too old for her, that now she is a bad influence, that she is going the way of all the teenage celeb sluts. and on and on and on. as usual. what a puritan society we live in!! and while i'm NOT advocating it and saying it's the best thing ever, ONLY because of her very young fans, i'm also not a prude, freaking out over a 15 year old girl ENTIRELY covered by a sheet! all you can see in the photo's is her upper back!! not a hint of a breast! not any stomach, not any ass, not anything but back!! have we NOT seen her back in perhaps a tank top or something else?? and no, i don't watch the girl or her show, but i've seen her around. and i know i've seen her a FEW times in skin skin tight pants. doesn't that offend everyone as well? i would think a camel toe would be waaaay more offensive than shoulder blades!!
while i agree that i'm sick and tired of EVERY star and young star especially, and basically everyone in magazines, TV, films, the music industry, all media and so on, (even young girls walking around in the world in general. older girls and women too,) ALL having to end up being about sex.......and i hate to say it, but that is the world we live in and we ALL well know....... sex sells!!! and sells VERY well!! our media is FULL of sex. and we all buy it and view it and basically condone it, so we can't pick and choose when it's convenient to us. i'm also for freedom of speech, the press and people doing what they want, though i don't always agree with the choices by a long shot. i'm wondering why people are so upset about it or think that it's so wrong?
is it because of what everyone was saying on the news and the morning shows? or because you are truly offended?
it IS a sexy shot, but it is also an art shot, annie liebowitz does that stuff all the time and has been for years, hello naked, pregnant demi moore? which also had people in an uproar. OH MY GOD, a naked, pregnant woman!! how horrifying!! and our corneas weren't burnt off? small wonder.
in miley's pics you can't see ANYTHING. yes, it's meant to allude to naked under a sheet or sexiness, but it's by far the tamest "sexy" shot i've seen of ANY teenage star! she is also a developing, hormonal teenager who is NOT a little girl anymore. and she didn't regret it at all (nor did her parents or handlers) until all the backlash and now she's groveling out apologies left and right. and so is annie liebowitz. not to mention, as you know, her parents, and adult handlers were all at the shoot and saw all the proofs and approved them. little girls grow up and WANT to be a little sexy. NOTHING was shown. but i also am NOT happy w/everything having to be about sex. but what about the pics of britney on the cover of rolling stone when she was what? 16? and lindsey too, in all her various stages of undress. and i DO think that miley is very grounded and has full family support and complete involvement with her life and career, so unlike other child stars and won't end up like those other trainwrecks that only care about marketing their kids.
so i'm torn on where i stand. i know everyone is all pissed off because of her young children fans, BUT that is why it's not in tiger beat or whatever. what little kids read vanity fair? and once again, as always it is up to the PARENTS to censor what their kids see, watch and are exposed to.
what i find most disturbing of all is the violence that is ALL over the TV, video games, movies, commercials, magazines, everywhere and everyone seems to be soooo cool w/all of that. we see heads blown off (in iraq alone! supreme violence sanctioned by OUR country) and blood and gore and unspeakable things constantly, but hey, who cares about that? it's all fine. but god forbid anyone ever knows about bodies or sex!!
every kid i've ever seen is allowed to play violent video games and fake kill each other and watch violent cartoons and movies but the SECOND there is sex or a hint of sex shown they are all forbidden. why is that?? and THAT is why the kids today are sucking dicks in bathrooms in junior highs and everything else. #1 because of the parents who let them see everything and/or #2 because it is sooo taboo that of course they are gonna run out and mess around with anything that's kept from them. only a few fools run out and actually kill each other because it's daily fare for them, they are used to it. it's not kept from them.
but i don't EVER hear or see parents in an uproar over ANYTHING violent and the second someone's shoulders are shown, it's a disgrace. look at the janet jackson/superbowl debacle. those kids were all allowed to watch men ram and slam each other and be ultra aggressive and yet to see ONE boob, holy mother of god!! didn't they see boobs when they were breastfed? or even when their mother was naked at some point in the home? and yet people were protesting and saying how that one breast scarred and ruined their children for life! a breast? really? a breast is a god given thing. the human body is beautiful and natural and meant to be appreciated. whereas violence is NOT. violence was created by man, but that all seems to be cool. seems pretty backwards to me. how twisted everything has become.......
while i agree that i'm sick and tired of EVERY star and young star especially, and basically everyone in magazines, TV, films, the music industry, all media and so on, (even young girls walking around in the world in general. older girls and women too,) ALL having to end up being about sex.......and i hate to say it, but that is the world we live in and we ALL well know....... sex sells!!! and sells VERY well!! our media is FULL of sex. and we all buy it and view it and basically condone it, so we can't pick and choose when it's convenient to us. i'm also for freedom of speech, the press and people doing what they want, though i don't always agree with the choices by a long shot. i'm wondering why people are so upset about it or think that it's so wrong?
is it because of what everyone was saying on the news and the morning shows? or because you are truly offended?
it IS a sexy shot, but it is also an art shot, annie liebowitz does that stuff all the time and has been for years, hello naked, pregnant demi moore? which also had people in an uproar. OH MY GOD, a naked, pregnant woman!! how horrifying!! and our corneas weren't burnt off? small wonder.
in miley's pics you can't see ANYTHING. yes, it's meant to allude to naked under a sheet or sexiness, but it's by far the tamest "sexy" shot i've seen of ANY teenage star! she is also a developing, hormonal teenager who is NOT a little girl anymore. and she didn't regret it at all (nor did her parents or handlers) until all the backlash and now she's groveling out apologies left and right. and so is annie liebowitz. not to mention, as you know, her parents, and adult handlers were all at the shoot and saw all the proofs and approved them. little girls grow up and WANT to be a little sexy. NOTHING was shown. but i also am NOT happy w/everything having to be about sex. but what about the pics of britney on the cover of rolling stone when she was what? 16? and lindsey too, in all her various stages of undress. and i DO think that miley is very grounded and has full family support and complete involvement with her life and career, so unlike other child stars and won't end up like those other trainwrecks that only care about marketing their kids.
so i'm torn on where i stand. i know everyone is all pissed off because of her young children fans, BUT that is why it's not in tiger beat or whatever. what little kids read vanity fair? and once again, as always it is up to the PARENTS to censor what their kids see, watch and are exposed to.
what i find most disturbing of all is the violence that is ALL over the TV, video games, movies, commercials, magazines, everywhere and everyone seems to be soooo cool w/all of that. we see heads blown off (in iraq alone! supreme violence sanctioned by OUR country) and blood and gore and unspeakable things constantly, but hey, who cares about that? it's all fine. but god forbid anyone ever knows about bodies or sex!!
every kid i've ever seen is allowed to play violent video games and fake kill each other and watch violent cartoons and movies but the SECOND there is sex or a hint of sex shown they are all forbidden. why is that?? and THAT is why the kids today are sucking dicks in bathrooms in junior highs and everything else. #1 because of the parents who let them see everything and/or #2 because it is sooo taboo that of course they are gonna run out and mess around with anything that's kept from them. only a few fools run out and actually kill each other because it's daily fare for them, they are used to it. it's not kept from them.
but i don't EVER hear or see parents in an uproar over ANYTHING violent and the second someone's shoulders are shown, it's a disgrace. look at the janet jackson/superbowl debacle. those kids were all allowed to watch men ram and slam each other and be ultra aggressive and yet to see ONE boob, holy mother of god!! didn't they see boobs when they were breastfed? or even when their mother was naked at some point in the home? and yet people were protesting and saying how that one breast scarred and ruined their children for life! a breast? really? a breast is a god given thing. the human body is beautiful and natural and meant to be appreciated. whereas violence is NOT. violence was created by man, but that all seems to be cool. seems pretty backwards to me. how twisted everything has become.......
Mar 17, 2008
NEED Makeup tips? Skin care, hair tips????
IF you do, please ask me!! I am the expert!!!, no ego intended, i just am. i have spent my WHOLE life learning and working on all of those things. so please feel free to ask me!!!
Mar 2, 2008
Tilda Swinton at the Oscars.....
ok, i respect and admire tilda swinton, think she is a great actress, BUT......oh wait, first let me state that i DO like when people wear different things to the oscars, don't try to follow some "fashion clone" rule or something. wee NEEDED bjork to wear the swan deal! who wants to see everyone always so boring, perfect and predictable? now having said that, there is interesting and unusual and then there is just plain UGLY!! or even fugly! WHY could she not be bothered to at LEAST put on some mascara!????? that's all i'm asking! OR even a drop of lipstick? something! anything. seeing her w/NO makeup at all. w/lips the color of her face, her lashes and brows invisible, blond, was bad enough. looked like she had just recovered from the plague. and THEN, oh yes, it gets worse!!! that dress, oh my god! was like a hideous, black, silk potatao sack that she then cut one arm off of! i'm sorry, as i said, i like her, but did she NOT have a mirror? or anyone that saw her? she woulda looked better had she wore a wet suit! anything. come on tilda, no need to follow the trends, but also no need to set out to make yourself look as hideous as possible. but kudos, you couldn't have done a better job. IF i see you out in public, i will hold you down and force some lip gloss or blush on you, so watch out!
Feb 25, 2008
SOME of my thoughts on dating, internet dating and otherwise......
(first was a response to an email i received from a guy)
i'm NOT looking for someone perfect, i'm not perfect, no one is and it would be boring if anyone was. nor am i looking period, for men (or dates) but then again, if someone great came along, i wouldn't turn them away. but i've had it w/men for the most part. and you are right, almost everyone and everything is about looks. which totally sucks but it's a fact i've mostly accepted, as lame as i may think it is. trust me, i DON'T find it flattering when everyone under the sun is trying to screw me or whatever and it's ALL based on looks. they don't give a * who i am, it's about a pretty face or a trophy or some equally lame bull * . or they "want" you, until they get you, that is. or get what they wanted. OR tried to get what they were after and got fed up and split when you wouldn't give it. and they will lie, scheme, flatter, promise and everything else under the sun to get it to try and get it. and then guys talk about women who are whores or easy when THEY were in on it too. or better yet, the ONLY reason the woman gave it up was cause the guy put on such a great show about how much he was into her! i won't even get into all the crap I'VE been told! even a guy i JUST met THAT night then "planning" our future! how the next night we were doing this or that and then the weekend we were then doing something else and what WE were doing the following week. and i was thinking "hes' insane!" and needy. and where does this guy get off planning our lives and assuming we are a couple, and how am i going to get out of this, 'cause i don't even LIKE HIM!? turns out, was ALL his little routine on how to get what he wanted. none of it was genuine or anything else, he just figured if he made future plans and acted like we were now a couple, i would then give him what he wanted. absolutely crazy. and i didn't even catch on for some time. i was so worried w/how i was going to make him go away, til i then noticed that i never heard from him again! whew! still lame and insulting though! but i have to say i was soooo not into this guy and that i also couldn't imagine that any other women were lining up for him either, that he probably figured that he HAD to have some big, phony, lying repertoire, cause it was the only way he might ever get any.
and age IS just a #. i don't care about age, but generally i hit it off a LOT more w/people my age or younger. interest wise. but once again, being blatantly honest here....sorry i don't have time or the inclination to be "nice" or diplomatic all the time, but i can tell in a hot second (and that is due to much practice AND trial and error from when i was on the internet AND dating) if i'm attracted to someone or not (even from pics online, as old or as "good" as they might be, i can tell asap). and i've never been wrong. there have been many times that i thought "well i might be attracted later". or "i really love their personality and /or talking to them" or "they are so good on paper" but it never came. i know if it's there or not. and it sounds hypocritical coming from me, cause i get SOOOO fed up w/all the visual, shallow bull * that men (and women), but mostly men do, but by the same token, i'm not asking for a greek god or a model. i don't care if someone is a dream physically, that is not it. BUT if i'm not attracted i'm just not, nothing i can do. but i think others standards are soooo bloody high that it's impossible. they want a playboy bunny but then get sick of her cause she has nothing to offer beyond the looks. then they say they want brains and personality but "aren't attracted". that they want it ALL in one package, ain't gonna happen!! so no one wants to let anything give on their laundry list of qualities. and i always say the same thing "that woman/man does NOT exist" and they disagree. i say "i'd like to see where you stand on all these things when you are 60 and alone and don't have your looks anymore to plow thru them all". i'm NOT by any means suggesting that anyone should be w/someone that repulses them physically. but that is a FAR cry from what actually happens. and it's almost ALL visual w/men. and i know women have their crap too, but i'm just tired of it all period.
i've had people i could have "settled" w/myself. could have been married a number of times, in fact, but in the long run, why would i want to? cause they were hot? or had money? or could make my life easy? or "take care of me"? or any other reason? NO. i'd rather be alone.
i DID date a guy from this site. a very nice guy, total gentleman. he's 53 (and i will only date so much younger, 9 years younger is almost too much for me) but i have to say that it DOES disturb me when men will date up to 20 yrs younger and more. i think it says a lot about the guy. that HE can pick and choose years and years younger, cause the women his age are too smart for them or "old bags" or whatever the case may be. they want someone to look up to them? i don't know, but it bothers me. i think if it randomly happens, fine, but them constantly searching out much younger women is telling.
but the guy i dated from here, i KNEW i wasnt' attracted to him. though i thought i might be able to be cause i enjoyed talking to him. he wasn't ugly and i was semi attracted to his pics BUT his pics are at least 10 or 15 years old, so it was false advertising. so i felt deceived on that count. granted most put up really good pics or whatever and i don't ever expect (out of experience) someone to look quite as "good" as their pics but they should at least LOOK like their pics! or have been taken in the last couple of years! but i guarantee you his are that old, or more. i wont get into the details of why. but i'm positive. you have a full head of hair then it's magically gone! overnight? nope, don't think so. and that's not the only reason, but whatever. anyway, i had numerous dates w/him and his age didn't bother me at all, what bothered me is that i didn't ever want anything to do w/him physically, not even hold his hand. HE didn't repulse me but the thought of us doing anything did. but more than that (otherwise i still might be seeing him), HE had a thing for much younger women and i then discovered why.......he was a TOTAL know it all. he would "lecture" me on any and every topic. it was NOT a conversation, it was a monologue, every time he got onto any topic. he wouldnt' allow me to interrupt him (until i learned and almost started shouting to interrupt and /or trying to change the topic asap before i fell asleep during another "class") and he assumed regardless that only HE was the expert on that topic. though i knew about everything he talked about. but he WANTS someone who's dumb or uninformed or someone to look up to him, hence the much younger thing. like "hey aren't i great? don't you enjoy my lectures"? don't you love listening to me go on and on for days and seeing how smart and informed i am"?
and no, i didn't at all. it was extremely annoying. and THAT turned me off more than anything. that and the fact that he NEVER once asked me about me. period. knew nothing about me! finally i asked him if he cared to know about others, and he said he had read my page online, so that he DID kow about me. so i guess he was done? that was enough info for a lifetime. so he was perfect "on paper" right? well, in many ways. WHEN i was allowed to talk, the conversation was good. so should i settle for him or anyone else just cause they fit a couple of things that i want? or cause i might not find someone else? or because i'm getting older or some nonsense? no. not gonna happen. and even IF i am alone at 60 or 70, i don't care. would much rather that than be w/someone that i'm not into or have no chemistry with or who annoys the hell outta me! would be like jail.
people get involved probably 97% of the time for ALL the wrong reasons anyway. attraction (that fades or can only go so far), loneliness (don't want to be alone. can't be alone. terrified to be alone. and every other alone theme out there), someone who can be a trophy and impress the public or their friends. an ego boost "hey, look who i can get, aren't i cool?" or they want someone to take care of them financially. or their biological clocks are ticking. or they think it's their last chance. or the person is "almost" good enough. no wonder no one ever stays together. it is the exception NOT the rule that 2 people are "soul mates" or truly in love, truly meant to be together. cause we live in an instant gratification society. and a throw away society. "hey once i get sick of him/her, or it's not working out, or even better yet....... once i meet someone i like a lot more, i can always just leave. divorce, break up, whatever" and i think it's all very sad.
i guess internal beauty REALLY doesn't account for much. anymore. if ever....
i'm NOT looking for someone perfect, i'm not perfect, no one is and it would be boring if anyone was. nor am i looking period, for men (or dates) but then again, if someone great came along, i wouldn't turn them away. but i've had it w/men for the most part. and you are right, almost everyone and everything is about looks. which totally sucks but it's a fact i've mostly accepted, as lame as i may think it is. trust me, i DON'T find it flattering when everyone under the sun is trying to screw me or whatever and it's ALL based on looks. they don't give a * who i am, it's about a pretty face or a trophy or some equally lame bull * . or they "want" you, until they get you, that is. or get what they wanted. OR tried to get what they were after and got fed up and split when you wouldn't give it. and they will lie, scheme, flatter, promise and everything else under the sun to get it to try and get it. and then guys talk about women who are whores or easy when THEY were in on it too. or better yet, the ONLY reason the woman gave it up was cause the guy put on such a great show about how much he was into her! i won't even get into all the crap I'VE been told! even a guy i JUST met THAT night then "planning" our future! how the next night we were doing this or that and then the weekend we were then doing something else and what WE were doing the following week. and i was thinking "hes' insane!" and needy. and where does this guy get off planning our lives and assuming we are a couple, and how am i going to get out of this, 'cause i don't even LIKE HIM!? turns out, was ALL his little routine on how to get what he wanted. none of it was genuine or anything else, he just figured if he made future plans and acted like we were now a couple, i would then give him what he wanted. absolutely crazy. and i didn't even catch on for some time. i was so worried w/how i was going to make him go away, til i then noticed that i never heard from him again! whew! still lame and insulting though! but i have to say i was soooo not into this guy and that i also couldn't imagine that any other women were lining up for him either, that he probably figured that he HAD to have some big, phony, lying repertoire, cause it was the only way he might ever get any.
and age IS just a #. i don't care about age, but generally i hit it off a LOT more w/people my age or younger. interest wise. but once again, being blatantly honest here....sorry i don't have time or the inclination to be "nice" or diplomatic all the time, but i can tell in a hot second (and that is due to much practice AND trial and error from when i was on the internet AND dating) if i'm attracted to someone or not (even from pics online, as old or as "good" as they might be, i can tell asap). and i've never been wrong. there have been many times that i thought "well i might be attracted later". or "i really love their personality and /or talking to them" or "they are so good on paper" but it never came. i know if it's there or not. and it sounds hypocritical coming from me, cause i get SOOOO fed up w/all the visual, shallow bull * that men (and women), but mostly men do, but by the same token, i'm not asking for a greek god or a model. i don't care if someone is a dream physically, that is not it. BUT if i'm not attracted i'm just not, nothing i can do. but i think others standards are soooo bloody high that it's impossible. they want a playboy bunny but then get sick of her cause she has nothing to offer beyond the looks. then they say they want brains and personality but "aren't attracted". that they want it ALL in one package, ain't gonna happen!! so no one wants to let anything give on their laundry list of qualities. and i always say the same thing "that woman/man does NOT exist" and they disagree. i say "i'd like to see where you stand on all these things when you are 60 and alone and don't have your looks anymore to plow thru them all". i'm NOT by any means suggesting that anyone should be w/someone that repulses them physically. but that is a FAR cry from what actually happens. and it's almost ALL visual w/men. and i know women have their crap too, but i'm just tired of it all period.
i've had people i could have "settled" w/myself. could have been married a number of times, in fact, but in the long run, why would i want to? cause they were hot? or had money? or could make my life easy? or "take care of me"? or any other reason? NO. i'd rather be alone.
i DID date a guy from this site. a very nice guy, total gentleman. he's 53 (and i will only date so much younger, 9 years younger is almost too much for me) but i have to say that it DOES disturb me when men will date up to 20 yrs younger and more. i think it says a lot about the guy. that HE can pick and choose years and years younger, cause the women his age are too smart for them or "old bags" or whatever the case may be. they want someone to look up to them? i don't know, but it bothers me. i think if it randomly happens, fine, but them constantly searching out much younger women is telling.
but the guy i dated from here, i KNEW i wasnt' attracted to him. though i thought i might be able to be cause i enjoyed talking to him. he wasn't ugly and i was semi attracted to his pics BUT his pics are at least 10 or 15 years old, so it was false advertising. so i felt deceived on that count. granted most put up really good pics or whatever and i don't ever expect (out of experience) someone to look quite as "good" as their pics but they should at least LOOK like their pics! or have been taken in the last couple of years! but i guarantee you his are that old, or more. i wont get into the details of why. but i'm positive. you have a full head of hair then it's magically gone! overnight? nope, don't think so. and that's not the only reason, but whatever. anyway, i had numerous dates w/him and his age didn't bother me at all, what bothered me is that i didn't ever want anything to do w/him physically, not even hold his hand. HE didn't repulse me but the thought of us doing anything did. but more than that (otherwise i still might be seeing him), HE had a thing for much younger women and i then discovered why.......he was a TOTAL know it all. he would "lecture" me on any and every topic. it was NOT a conversation, it was a monologue, every time he got onto any topic. he wouldnt' allow me to interrupt him (until i learned and almost started shouting to interrupt and /or trying to change the topic asap before i fell asleep during another "class") and he assumed regardless that only HE was the expert on that topic. though i knew about everything he talked about. but he WANTS someone who's dumb or uninformed or someone to look up to him, hence the much younger thing. like "hey aren't i great? don't you enjoy my lectures"? don't you love listening to me go on and on for days and seeing how smart and informed i am"?
and no, i didn't at all. it was extremely annoying. and THAT turned me off more than anything. that and the fact that he NEVER once asked me about me. period. knew nothing about me! finally i asked him if he cared to know about others, and he said he had read my page online, so that he DID kow about me. so i guess he was done? that was enough info for a lifetime. so he was perfect "on paper" right? well, in many ways. WHEN i was allowed to talk, the conversation was good. so should i settle for him or anyone else just cause they fit a couple of things that i want? or cause i might not find someone else? or because i'm getting older or some nonsense? no. not gonna happen. and even IF i am alone at 60 or 70, i don't care. would much rather that than be w/someone that i'm not into or have no chemistry with or who annoys the hell outta me! would be like jail.
people get involved probably 97% of the time for ALL the wrong reasons anyway. attraction (that fades or can only go so far), loneliness (don't want to be alone. can't be alone. terrified to be alone. and every other alone theme out there), someone who can be a trophy and impress the public or their friends. an ego boost "hey, look who i can get, aren't i cool?" or they want someone to take care of them financially. or their biological clocks are ticking. or they think it's their last chance. or the person is "almost" good enough. no wonder no one ever stays together. it is the exception NOT the rule that 2 people are "soul mates" or truly in love, truly meant to be together. cause we live in an instant gratification society. and a throw away society. "hey once i get sick of him/her, or it's not working out, or even better yet....... once i meet someone i like a lot more, i can always just leave. divorce, break up, whatever" and i think it's all very sad.
i guess internal beauty REALLY doesn't account for much. anymore. if ever....
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