My film review of "Arbitrage"!! I thought it was a decent "thriller" all things considered....

OOPS, i JUST came across this in my drafts, i never finished it & i know i never will! so i'm posting what i DID write. remember, it may not be complete OR make any sense at all! ah well...
Writer/Director Nicholas Jarecki gives us Robert Miller, as portrayed by Richard Gere, for the face of Wall Street fraud, corporate greed, narcissism and deceit at it's finest. ANYTHING for money: family, love, dignity, you name it, is all dispensable when millions (or billions) of dollars are involved.
I thought it was pretty good, BUT the thing that really screwed it up for me from the word go, realism wise (and i'm big on that, though i can totally suspend my disbelief when needed or wanted as well), was that his car flipped on NOTHING!! it made NO sense at all! he was skimming his car against the divider, creating sparks, then woke up, turned his steering wheel slightly and outta nowhere & on nothing & for NO reason at all (except the plot), his car flipped 3-4 times.
i overlooked it at the moment, but the person i was seeing it with said at that instant "okay, this is a bad movie. they ruined it. that wouldn't happen, was stupid & now no matter what i can't buy into it". this is also the person who said that "walk the line" would have been interesting, better, watchable, etc. had the entire movie had joaquin phoenix simply WALKING A LINE! hahaha. this person has pretty excellent taste in films, but has ZERO interest in johnny cash, his life, and more importantly, things that are NOT logical.
i have to say i'm big on logic as well & realism & have a very hard time enjoying films that are entirely based upon CGI w/little to no plot, or even good films w/BAD CGI. arghhh. i'm not against CGI at all, i just want it to look good, to look realistic. besides look at michel gondry and "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind", where he did it ALL (or like 99%) organically, the way they USED to in films!
but i digress....."arbitrage" IS a decent film. i thought it was better when i was actually viewing it. thinking back there are tons of holes in it, which bother me & my friend is correct in that the accident, the ENTIRE basis for the plot & suspense that ensues is so key to the film, that if it doesn't make any sense, that screws up the entire movie. (roger ebert gave it 4 stars, but he has GREATLY loosened up in his critiques and estimation of films in the last decade or so. he's older? he's happier? he's less judgmental since his own personal tragedies? i don't know. but i used to almost always agree w/him on his reviews & take on each film. i still do on many, or to a point. i will read reviews by him, or google them or imdb them before or after i've seen a film. 1. if i haven't heard of it, nor seen a trailer, i want to see if i think it's "worth it" and 2. i want to see how many people agree w/my thoughts on any particular film.
to be more specific, i thought richard gere's performance was one of the best i've ever seen from him. never have been a huge fan, but he's okay. oh, i thought he was a GREAT psycho in "looking for mr. goodbar", such a creepy film, so was tom berenger, though his role was pretty tiny, i was impressed w/his acting, also he was GORGEOUS too back then!!! geez louise. some beautiful men. they are still good looking now, of course, i'm just saying.
it's like tony soprano...as gandolfini himself said "why are people (women) finding a fat, balding guy in a bathrobe attractive?" (i'm paraphrasing). but i was too!! there is something about that confidence that comes w/power that IS seductive, attractive, etc.

I was just looking at a website i came upon about "Worst celebrity makeup" or something like that.....

http://starcrush.com/makeup-fails-courtney-love/
okay i'm a makeup artist, who YES, has worked in the industry, & on celebs, & while i'm not NECESSARILY disagreeing w/some of the statements made by the person who wrote these (though i pretty much AM disagreeing w/the majority of what she said: mainly because they have NO clue what they are talking about). "The No. 1 rule of makeup is balance. If you go heavy on the lips, go light on the eyes and vice versa", for example. no, that is NOT the #1 rule, nor is it even a "rule" per se. look at dearly departed kevin aucoin for example, or other world renowned & respected makeup artists. you CAN definitely go heavy on eyes AND lips at the same time. besides that, her eye makeup (courtney) is NOT even heavy at all!! there is little to no eye shadow, a smidge of liner and mascara, that hardly merits a HEAVY, smoky eye! so yeah, my basic point is this critic supposedly in the know here, or some self assigned expert; knows JACK SHIT! seriously!
last but not least, WHY should everyone look the same & fit some stupid media/celeb OBSESSED cultures definition & judgment of HOW makeup (or anything else for that matter) SHOULD look! once everyone looks the same & are a bunch of brainless drones following the leader or the fashion "experts", then everyone is pleased. ridiculous. whatever happened to creativity? expressing yourself? being DIFFERENT?? nope, can't have that! puhleeze

tell me this: WHO all remembers bjork's swan dress?? or even j. lo's low cut versace deal?? most of the world right? (granted, clothing, not makeup) (btw, i COMPLETELY remember gwyneth's horrible saggy boob dress & always will, but i thought her hair and makeup were fine, though i didn't really recall them at all. in fact i think seeing her eye makeup again, it looks pretty damn good. again though, it's NOT a "smoky eye" though. jesus, does anyone KNOW what an actual smoky eye IS?? it's not just more, or a lot of eye makeup!
anyway, as i was saying, people remember fashion risks, meat dresses, wild alien makeup and so on, but can anyone (besides a fashion or celeb obsessor) tell you what makeup so and so had on whatever year that was deemed "fabulous" or "perfect". doubtful. i can't, i'll tell you that & i have a great memory and am VERY visual.
it's all ridiculous. this factory of sameness. 

can you say HIGHWAY ROBBERY?? well that's what SAN PEDRO BEAUTY SUPPLY IS!!!!!!!!!

they are SO OVERPRICED, it's not even funny!!! their markup is at LEAST 300-400%, no joke!! then they have little tricks they employ. about 90% of the stock is ALWAYS marked w/"sale" tags, when the items are not only NOT on sale, but FAR above even suggested retail price!!!
oh and if you happen to be a professional, have any license and are SUPPOSED to receive 20% off, FORGET IT!! because they don't do that for hair color (which is generally the thing that professionals are buying in the first place) and secondly, they don't do it at ALL for anything on "sale", but EVERYTHING is on sale at all times. so you are effectively screwed. you ask them about it and they claim ignorance. not that i expect the workers there to be privy to all of the sneaky ways of doing biz, but you'd think that anyone who's been to any other store on the planet OR has ANY common sense whatsoever would catch on!
the ONLY reason i ever go there or would ever go again is because of it's close proximity to me. you don't always have time to drive to maly's, cosmoprof, etc. even though what you purchase there is a TENTH of the price (or less) than this blatant rip-off business.
yes, they have a good selection, yes, sometimes the clerks are helpful, and yes, unfortunately they are SIPHONING money off of the public. granted, there are no guns to anyone's heads but it IS highway robbery. even for a non professional, i would recommend to go ANYWHERE else, even your own hair salon will be cheaper!!!! OR go to sally's RIGHT across the street where you can get some decent prices.
well i think i've said enough, more than enough and was very clear on my view of this place. it angers me greatly every time i drive by this place, or happen to go IN this place, or even THINK about this place!! they are such a huge rip off of such magnitude that it isn't even funny and what ticks me off even more (as a consumer but more so for OTHER consumers, who don't have the option of going to full on "pro" beauty supplies), is all of the TRICKS they employ to not give ANYONE a price break, to not even bring an item down to 200% ABOVE RETAIL!!! and that they have no shame about it at all! the owner is laughing all the way to the bank, i'm sure.
OH, another trick they have is having coupons in local mailers & such but once again in the fine print it states that if an item is on sale, you will NOT get the discount. once again: EVERY FRIGGIN ITEM IS "ON SALE"!!! absolutely ridiculous and worse: disgusting!!!

youth, beauty, models, stupid public, etc.....

okay, i INTEND to come back to this, cause i have oh so much more to say about this subject, BUT i'm in a hurry right now and don't have time, so i'm posting the little i typed up now. cheers. :)
 
i was watching a documentary last night called "about face", had a bunch of supermodels from the 70's, 80's, etc. talking about youth/beauty, etc. and paulina porizkova (who's a smart cookie) & isabella rossellini were asking why anyone who gets older is just invisible now. basically doesn't matter in society. or AMERICAN society. how in our 20's we need to be our most attractive to biologically a

ttract a fertile mate, yadda yadda but we don't need that at 40, 50, etc, so WHY does everyone want to look 20?? & i personally find it false *and insulting* advertising to see 15 yr old girls advertising age creams & such. wtf? THEY are supposed to be the result of anti-aging potions? noooooo. how stupid ARE we?? i revere age & wisdom a billion times more than youth & "beauty", which is subjective anyway. the young don't know SHIT! i thought i knew everything when i was a kid, but man i was wrong.

Question: WHY are there gay guys who pretend they are straight???? Or go for women??

No, i'm soooooooooo not being homophobic, sexist, bigoted, judgmental, none of that......
Also to be VERY clear, the particulars (and people) that I have in mind are SO not in the category of can't tell their family, can't come out, it will ruin their life or career, none of the common reasons that people don't come out.
I'm referring to people who everyone would be ENTIRELY cool w/them coming out, be supportive, wonderful (and probably not too surprised to be honest).
So why do that? Why hide it or pretend to be otherwise? I'm also not talking about people in their teens, 20's, etc. who are still confused, undecided, fighting the feelings (though fighting the feelings could apply), I'm talking about people OVER 30 who know damn well who they are and what they like and prefer. WHY NOT just come out? OR if they're not wanting to come out, then at the very least, do NOT pursue women (or men) and be very misleading and dishonest w/significant others and even themselves.
Oh and don't even get my started on the bi-sexual deal. In my mind (and maybe it is too judgmental, too ready to label, though i don't think so, i think i'm VERY compassionate, very empathetic and very understanding, but I also believe what i believe and have strong opinions about many things, so i'm just being true to myself as well right?), i was saying in my mind bi-sexual is gay. Simple as that.
I'm not referring to women fooling around w/their girlfriends on drunken nights or even non drunken nights plus people tend to look at that differently right? gay women are "hot" and considered a turn on, blah blah. i'm generalizing, but you get it. okay i'm signing off, too tired to finish this up.
guess i'll come back to this later. i was typing this MONTHS ago & forgot i even had the draft, and other drafts. oops. 

the "Masked Man" on the Bachelorettte, "perfection in relationships", people never finding what they "want"

Ahhhh, where to start here? Don't worry I will get to Mr. Mask.
First off, let me apologize for getting sucked into these tripe-y shows.  Yeah I realize a lot of people love them, watch them (hell I'm watching right?) and LIVE for this shit and I'll admit, I get sucked in too, but maybe I'm more judgmental while watching it or it's like a science experiment for me? Yeah, that is it, I'm curious. Who are these people, what are they gonna do or say or how will they act. It's just more "relationship" fodder for me, so yes I find it interesting.
Maybe I'm being a snob, trying to announce that I'm above this "tripe" or whatever, maybe I think I am? No, I don't think I'm above it, but i DO know that I would never ever ever go on ANY type of show like that or any show period. I have never been the fame whore type or the "hey look at me" type or the type sooo desperate for love that I would go on some unrealistic TV show. I'm not saying it's a setup (though sometimes I wonder), they claim it's not, it's just entirely unrealistic to think that out of 20 (??) or whatever women/men that in that group there would just HAPPEN to be the one for you.  But then again, I have thoughts about how anyone could be the one for someone, it just depends on the open-mindedness of both parties. Think about that.....couldn't anyone be "the one" for anyone else? If forced together, got to know each other, whatever. Spend enough time w/anyone and won't they grow on you? I mean the odds are good, but my point w/this situation is that it IS for TV, a lot of the stuff is staged, but beyond that, let's say it's all organic, you still are spending such a short amount of time w/the people, even when it gets down to a few, but WORSE, you are having these fantasy dates, these fantasy lives (wait, didn't i cover all of this in a bachelor blog? ahhhh, i bet i did!), you are not living your real lives, working your jobs, dealing w/stress (except for who you like or don't, if you're gonna stay or go), you are going to places and doing things that are dreams coming true type deals, it's a fantasy. So even if you did by chance "fall in love" or even infatuation w/this person what happens when the show is over?
Then there comes the worst part of all. You are separated for months, are allowed some secret meetings, how is your new love supposed to withstand that? Hell, it can barely withstand seeing each other everyday. Then you have to watch the show and see everyone else he/she made out with, claimed to be all into, get all jealous, all insecure and THEN (ominous music here) you live in 2 completely different states, completely different lives and are back to reality. Work, bills, stress, LIFE and then you're supposed to move or travel back and forth, have a long distance relationship. It takes a lot of balls, sincerity and fortitude to keep that up. Sadly I don't think that many people possess those things in abundance. Even if they were ALL into that person, once reality comes back, the separation comes along, some other girl/guy hits on them, they start thinking about things they don't like, whatever the case may be. Hell something shiny might float by and they are already distracted, already one foot out the door.
What is that made up word or phrase? Stick-to-it-ness. Something like that. Who has that in this day and age? Everyone is ALWAYS ready to move on. Move on, move on. To what? To some invisible thing that they just THINK exists? To some person they THINK is great, for the moment? Back to their alone time, their solitude, just later to complain again about being lonely and not having anyone? Ready to later think "man i really screwed that up, what was I thinking?", once they are older or see that their options aren't limitless or that THEY were the nut in the "bad" relationship, OR they "wake up" too old, too set in their ways, all options are gone and then they are really screwed, the ship has sailed, because they didnt' have the character, the fortitude, the balls, the desire, the anything to work out TRIFLING issues. Things that were nothing, not even real problems. Just problems in their minds or problems w/their egos (same thing kinda sorta but not), problems w/wanting to be right, problems w/wanting to be a control freak, problems w/commitment, w/attention span, so they decided something was too much, too hard, not right, not meant to be (all said in quotations),etc. when it all could have been right, good, fulfilling and everything great but they blew it, for stupid ass or even nonexistent reasons.
Now THAT is so silly to me. No, I'm not referring to people who know right off the bat, instantaneously that someone is not right for them, they aren't attracted in the least, are completely and offensively different, don't even like each other, there is no way in hell these people would work out for them, but that is rare right? Usually it's just our snobbery dictating those things. What I AM referring to here is people who DID like each other, who did connect, who WERE attracted and had a mind connection as well, things in common, everything working for them and THEN they decided for some random reason "nah, I don't feel like it anymore, I wanna go back to my shitty lonely, boring life where I can always be right". So right yet so alone.  Trust me, I've been there, I've picked apart people out of fear, of commitment, insecurity, immaturity, you name it, I've found a million reasons right off the bat about how and why I cannot be w/that person for any length of time, ah but then you add in the physical connection and if THAT is good, you can REALLY overlook a multitude of sins. Yes, you DO need a physical connection but that is just a distraction to what is really there, especially if you start that too early on, as most do, as we all do, as too many do? If you really wanted to find out if someone was right for you (hormones aside) you would WAIT, until you knew you really liked them as a person. Wow, I say "really" a lot don't I?
But I'm not speaking of sex here or chemistry or physical connection, (that's a different topic that I could write pages and pages about, but for a different time and place, only is a tiny part of what I'm referring to now), sure it's important but the other is far more important, no matter how sexual of a person you are (and trust me I am one, but I made a choice a couple of years ago to let my brain and heart do the deciding for me instead of my body and it was a good choice).
What I am speaking of here is blown opportunities, throwing things away over nothing. And i DO mean nothing. I have seen, heard about, watched AND experienced this myself a million times (all those combined, for the "million"). Oh sure the "reasons" are fantastic at the time and VERY logical, but what do those reasons tell you six months from now? A year from now? Five years from now? When you are STILL alone (or worse, still repeating your shitty patterns. A few months here, a few months there and then suddenly discovering or letting the bad things calculate into a laundry list that you use as proof to yourself on how it WON'T work), so what then? Are your reasons and your ego and your bullshit holding you when you sleep at night? Talking to you after work? Will they hold your hand when you die? Will they remember you? And if they do, will they remember you as anything more than a deceiver? Someone who put on an act to "get" you and then switched it all up, when the real person you were came out? But let's say that you or that other party already KNEW and experienced all or many of your flaws? And that you were already ready and willing to deal with, overlook, live w/those flaws: EVERYONE has flaws the last time I checked. You should be w/the person(s) who's flaws you can live w/the most, but that's all a matter of choice as well right?
You CHOOSE how you look at those flaws, those things you don't like, you choose to make them a huge deal, you choose to react to them, you choose every single thing about how you deal w/them AND w/the person, and same goes for them. So you are choosing the bad road. Why?? "I will purposely fuck this up and CHOOSE to look at things in a bad light because I'm"......(insert word or should I say excuses) "an asshole", "immature", "a control freak", "a superior prick (man or woman applies) OR because of my own issues. "I am insecure", "I will be derisive to anyone who has the bad taste to like or love me", "I need more from them" (but I won't ask), "I need less from them" (but I won't tell). Oh it all just goes on and on, a neverending, catch 22 loop of disastrous choices and decisions.

People looking for perfection (whatever that means, though everyone would deny that, it's bullshit, they are. they're own version of perfection) are crazy. I don't mean mentally ill, just delusional, meaning living in a fantasy land as far as this topic is concerned. They will NEVER find what they are looking for. There are no guarantees for anything. There are no guarantees that ANY of us will even be here on earth for another day, another week, another year. So in the big picture, isn't it worth it? To take that jump, that leap? To live for today. The greater the risk, the greater the reward right? So what if it doesn't work out forever, for ALL of eternity? So what? Does anything? So what is the fallout? You are more hurt, more disillusioned? You experienced a million great things that you otherwise wouldn't have? and see THAT is another lie....."better to end it now before we get too deep into this thing and then really get hurt".  REALLY??? That is the better idea? To not experience great fun, great bonding, great passion, great everything, even great arguments, great LEARNING about our own flaws, great experiences in learning what works, what doesn't, learning HOW to be a great communicator, or a better one? Yeah, sounds much better to cut it short and never really experience anything then to actually experience ANYTHING!!! Really?? Seriously?? THAT is the better option? That sounds nuts to me (and that's coming from a girl who has mostly been scared shitless of men and commitment, since her HIDEOUS marriage when she was 19 to 20 something, but I still never gave up hope, thoughts for the future, when I was healed enough. And finally I got there). So yes, i AM willing to try and to fight for something good, for great experiences, bad and good, because it's better than fighting for nothing. Flat out nothing.

My personal fav is people who "end" something, something REAL (or that was supposedly real) via the most impersonal, clinical means possible. You saw, spoke to, were involved w/this person for however long and they (or you! and shame on you if you've done this) and this person was MEANINGFUL to you, you cared about this person to whatever extent and how is all of this intimate, bonding contact ended?? Through a text message, through an email, through a post it note (that's courtesy of "sex and the city"), through a voice mail.
WTF, again WTF!!!!! is THAT??? Seriously??? You don't even have the courtesy, the character, the BALLS, the fucking manners, a heart in your chest and a brain in your head to even TELL the person face to face?? Or even ear to ear?? Talk about insulting. That is about as low as you can get, oh and god forbid you dare FIND that offensive, what is wrong w/YOU to think that is highly insulting, hurtful, MEAN and downright the epitome of having not one once of class or even empathy. Yes, I know, it's the "easy" way out, that way you don't have to "man up" or have an actual conversation about it, or explain anything or dread of dreads actually DEAL w/something "yucky" that you're not (or never have been) in the mood for. What kind of person does things like that? A VERY selfish person.

I watched this really great and funny documentary a week or so ago this British guy did on his failed love life. He was in his 30's, alone, a loser and wondering where he went wrong. Yes, it was tongue in cheek and funny as hell but also true and accurate. As I said, a documentary.   The guy was a self proclaimed loser and all of the ex's complained that he was a loser, his mom said he was a loser, so I'M not labeling him a loser to be clear. He/they said he never had a job, a car, money......was 2 hrs late for everything he did, lied, didn't stick to his word, (hey isn't that most people? haha). extremely lazy, extremely irresponsible, shit his mom (whom he still lived above in his 30's) was still the only person (himself included), who did his laundry, cleaned his disgusting place, his hygiene was BAD!!! He always looked smelly and dirty, didn't even own a hairbrush, you get the idea. Just trying to paint the picture for you, that watching it painted for me. He made a list of all of his women/girls that he had any type of relationship with, that was of any consequence in his life and set out to interview them all. to be continued.....have to go to bed, praying they saved this, i hit save like 20 times.
oops i never posted this. not even sure if i was done. oh well, i'm posting anyway. :)

CHYNNA PHILLIPS IS OFFICIALLY AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!! AND a huge, snobby BITCH!!

yes, it's true. i have been watching a bit of the new wilson phillips reality show & i always had the vibe before (don't ask me where or how, being that i never listened to their music or anything, though how can you have avoided "hold on"? i do mostly know that song & i know the beach boys and the mama's and the papa's well! very well) that she was a huge bitch, snob, u name it and boy was i RIGHT!!! ahh it's hard being so right (and brilliant and intuitive ALL of the time, like i am. haha, i'm kidding)....

anyway, i also watch Dancing With the Stars, so i did experience her on there and she was SO fucking entitled!! she screwed up her dance the night before she was eliminated, yet seemed to think she was SUCH the shit, that she should have stayed forever regardless, and won as well i'm sure. she was so obviously pissed at being eliminated and it was anything BUT graceful, believe me, if you didn't see it. she had her tight butthole lips going and the icy stare. oh and my personal fav, during her rehearsals on that show, being miss "christian" and all, was praying nonstop and being crazy Jesus freak lady (no offense to normal Christians, cause there are some) & trying to act like miss goody two shoes and that her shit didnt' stink but THEN the moment she got pissed, frustrated, etc. she started letting out f bombs nonstop, saying Jesus would understand or however she worded it. 

oh i see, even Jesus bends his opinions according to miss chynna goddess of the earth phillips! why wouldn't he? she is after all, one of his more important subjects. :P

i've watched every season of DWTS and i have NEVER seen anyone come CLOSE to her arrogance and impertinence regarding ANYTHING on there, especially their elimination and there were plenty of people that were eliminated WAY before they should have been & they didn't have her angry, entitled bullshit and THEY hadnt' even royally fucked up their dance the night before!  they were sad, heartbroken, perhaps even shocked at their exit, YET totally grateful and happy for their experience. take a lesson miss phillips! 

what a piece of work. 

okay now onto what further irritated me about her. was watching the wilson phillips deal last night and chynna ALWAYS treats the wilson sisters as if they are her slaves, her peons, her villagers remiss in the worshiping (that should have 2 p's btw, is logical) of their Queen Chynna. this is interspersed w/her praying nonstop (for herself i'm sure. well yeah, she announces what she's praying for) and all of her glowing "christianity", so in between praying and putting them down and going off on them for some small or imagined slight, it's embarrassing. i hope she watches herself on the show and realizes what an ASSHOLE she truly is!! that is what makes "christians" so bad, in these cases, they go around announcing their holier than thou bullshit, while acting like total douches and making decent acting christians look like possible fools as well. 

i claim to be neither, just saying....

so on last nights episode she out of NOWHERE announces to one of the wilsons that she NEEDS to douche!! hello?? where did that come from?? did she have her face in her crotch?? could she smell her vagina from across the room or something?

oh and here's where it gets REALLY rich. she then announced that women live longer than men BECAUSE we are able to douche!!!!! i shit u not. because we are able to clean ourselves internally and men aren't. WHAT??????????? are u kidding me miss shit for brains?? 1. a douche PARTIALLY goes up into your vagina and that is IT!! 2. she acted like it's like a mouthwash for our organs. 3. douching is BAD for you!!!

she THEN announced that anyone who DOESN'T douche is an IDIOT!!! 

i hope she was looking in a mirror when she said that, but sadly she wasn't. 

let me insert a disclaimer here: i THOROUGHLY dislike people who spend their lives and their time online bashing others, especially celebs and people they don't know. everyone has an opinion right? i find it hateful, cruel, jealous, u name it. like they don't have their own lives so they can only live through others vicariously. but most especially why spread hatred, negativity, etc. hey i'm not perfect, i have STRONG opinions. if i think someone did or said something exceedingly stupid, i'm gonna say so (even TO my friends) but i'm not gonna hide behind a computer and spew hatred at whatever, i have better things to do. not trying to sound superior. so here's where the disclaimer comes in....again, we ALL have opinions right? well every so often someone says or does something SO asinine that i'm forced (haha, okay not forced) to report my opinion on how idiotic that was. so there. disclaimer. :)
lastly people, and most importantly:

 THE VAGINA IS A SELF CLEANING OVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

let me say it again: 

THE VAGINA IS A SELF CLEANING OVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it does NOT need to have things squirted up INTO it to have it be clean. only people that are idiots believe that and only uptight men and women who don't like the "smell". the type of people who HAVE to have each partner shower before EVER having sex. u know, people w/issues. 

yes, i understand in the past that douching was HUGE, hell my mom always had boxes of douches, i myself have douched a few times in my life, but that was before it was announced or discovered that it is quite bad for you. we NEED the good bacteria in there. douching can cause infections (yeast, others) and all kinds of problems. your regular hygiene and washing is MORE than enough to keep it clean and healthy!!!

i also understand that many men want it to smell like flowers or candy or something, that is NOT what it is meant to smell like. do their balls smell like flowers or candy? ha, i WISH!! should we tell them to go give their balls a sitz bath before we go anywhere near them?

no. the point IS: if you love someone and are turned on by someone, you will LOVE and be TURNED ON by EVERY part of them!!! i'm not saying if someone has an odor problem from health reasons or something that we should love to smell that. nope. just stating in general that everything is the way it is for a reason chynna phillips. so call ME an idiot for not wanting to give myself infections while i pray. jesus! ha. no pun. 

speaking of vaginas and balls...........OH SHIT , OOPS CAPS. anyway, i have to go now, i will come back to what i was going to further say, which is about pubic hair. ha

EBAY and PAYPAL are thiefs and LIARS and they suck ASS!!! big time. they are both a TOTAL rip-off.

anyway, what i came on here to say (before it took a 100 yrs to be ALLOWED onto my own acct).....is that.......ebay and paypal are a RIP-OFF!!!! and you know how they basically force you into adding your bank account info so that they can DIRECTLY siphon money out of it? well i NEVER wanted to do that, was NEVER comfortable w/that, but unless you DO do it, you cannot be "verified" which supposedly is supposed to be some great treat and allow you extra special treatment and such, but it soooooooo does not.
i resisted it for a loooooooong time but they were so far up my ass about it and never let it go, that i finally "had" to. doesnt' matter if i put on 50 credit cards or even a cash balance or anything, i have to let them have my bank account info.
so recently paypal AND ebay BOTH w/out my knowledge OR permission just took chunk sums of money straight outta my bank account. i am NOT happy w/that.
okay, yes i DID sell a few things (about 5), recently on ebay and used paypal as my method for receiving money, which i thought would expedite it (as opposed to using another method or waiting for someone to send you a check, then waiting for that to clear), and i have bought tons of things through paypal and on ebay, but boy was i WRONG!!! it doesn't expedite shit, in fact it just delays everything 10 times longer than it should be.
oh man, i really didnt' want to type the entire story here about how i used paypal to print my shipping labels and packing slips (AND i paid them directly the shipping costs) and how i have and have had for years, a PERFECT record w/ebay (and paypal even), 100% positive, AAAA+++++ feedback, transactions and so on for buying AND selling, but they conveniently have a cap on those things. unless you sold something in the past few weeks, it's like you never sold anything at all. also i didnt' want to get into my PAYING paypal and ebay already for their services IN my recent selling (but they LIE about their charges and then take tons more later when the mood apparently strikes), and i didn't want to get into how paypal totally bullshits you about how and when you get YOUR money from them. they want to wait up to a month, sometimes more, to establish that you are a "good seller" or some such bullshit. even when your buyer has already received your item, given you great feedback and then some and they STILL hold YOUR money and have all their stupid reasons for it.
i understand the concept behind it and if someone IS a new seller and so on, they may be some scam artist and screwing people over, but if you have sold and followed every rule (and do the packing slip and shipping thru paypal or ebay which according to them will "speed up" the receipt of your money (when it soooo does not!) and then come to find out, after you already sold something extremely underpriced (but enough to be worth it) AND paid the shipping AND paid the 2 companies for their services in your selling and not only do they hang onto your money forever, but they also then later charge you some extra SECRET HUGE amounts and take it out of your bank acct willy nilly, wtf is that??
so yes, i didn't want to get into any of that, but i touched on some, obviously.
and i won't get into all of the details of what each site SAYS that they charge you for your listing (which i did it the cheapest way possible on every count) and what they SAY they charge you to accept money for you, but it's TOTAL bullshit. somehow they can (and do!) secretly charge you these other huge amounts that were not mentioned ANYWHERE!! let's say they say it costs $2.50 to list and sell something on ebay and you don't add ANY extras (though man they act like you can't sell shit unless you use ALL their add ons to do so, extra pictures, different fonts, blah blah blah. oh your item will NEVER be seen unless you pimp it out. more bullshit. that's capatilism for you, or should i say greed? yes i realize they are a business and they are there to make money but man oh man, they are ROLLING in the money!!! because if what they charged me and keep trying to charge me on top of that is any indication of what they are getting from everyone listing on their site, then everyone working for ebay should be a multi-millionaire!)
oh and another thing, out of all of these things that i'm NOT mentioning here (wink wink. i'm just not getting into all of the details that i could and would, did i have more time and interest in thinking about this some more) is that i always wondered and was (and am still) so irritated by the people selling things that are retail price or even MORE than retail. i always think "wtf?? that is NOT why people come on ebay, to pay the exact cost or more that they can buy it for from a store or even online AND most likely w/free shipping, whereas you see these people trying to charge $15 or even $30 for just the shipping and i'm not even talking a heavy, heavy item, it's ridiculous, that defeats the purpose) but NOW, again, having just dealt w/their rip-off-ness i now see why people ARE charging astronomical amounts for items they are selling AND i also feel REALLY badly for the people who are literally selling things (decent things, worth a lot more) for a penny or even for .99 and a lot of times w/free shipping. so they are making NOTHING. in fact they are PAYING lame ass ebay and probably pay pal as well to just sell the item. so they are spending money, not making it.
and in the past, this was not occurring, on my part i mean, i was charged (when i sold things before) the fees that they TOLD me i was to be charged. not anymore. and i sold some pricey stuff back then. an amazing camera that an ex boyfriend gave me, it was like a $600 camera and i was charged like a dollar or something to sell it. no i didn't sell it for anywhere near $600, but it sure amounted to more than what i sold recently!
so yep, now i have a little compassion for those selling overpriced items, but let's be real here, there are some people that are flat out delusional in how much they are selling things for.
let's say that a skin serum, for example, retails for $65 and their STARTING price for that item is like $80, then on top of that, they then throw in a $15 shipping fee, when you know damn well it will cost them a couple of bucks to ship it.....hell, i have paid for numerous items on ebay and wondered at the shipping costs but of course paid it, cause i was still saving money w/the total, so say i paid $8.00 for shipping, then i receive the item and see plain as day on the package that the shipping cost to them was $1.72. i get it, make money wherever you can and pad your shipping and so on, but now i see it as the GREED, unecessary greed i might add, of ebay and paypal!!! if they actually charged what they SAY that they are charging you, as you are creating the page of the item to be sold, they would STILL be making a killing, making tons of $$, but nooooo. not the way it goes anymore.
i have seen and purchased from other ebay-type sites before and had considered them in my recent selling, but i thought "no, not that many people will see the item, ebay is so huge and the main one (same w/paypal), the most used, the most convenient, the go to place and i want the best bids, the best chances in selling my item". well i'm DEFINITELY rethinking that now!
not that i have anything left that i want to sell, but in the future if i do....
oh and besides, if you do a google search or whatever, your specific item WILL be found, especially if it's rare to any degree.
oooh that reminds me, i purchased a book from ebay? amazon? something, years ago. i was searching for a book i read as a teenager or young adult and i can't recall for the life of me what it was called, so i searched by wording plotlines and so on and FINALLY came upon what seemed to be the book and i got it for a pretty cheap/decent price. sadly, only to receive it and discover it was NOT the book i had read and wanted again. was some kind of cheap looking romance type deal, so i just put it aside, never even bothered to read it or anything, but went back to searching for the actual book that i did want, only to discover that the book i bought is apparently VERY rare, very hard to come by (which i have bought a few things that were like that, took me years to finally get ahold of them and i paid fairly dearly to do so, but was fully worth it) and i discovered that women were practically losing their minds trying to find and purchase this book. i saw people saying they would pay hundreds of dollars for this old paperback, crappy looking book. so i should totally sell that huh? i have no interest in it, though now i'm thinking for the hell of it, i should at least read it first and see what all the hubbub is about.
the same was the case (before, not so much now) w/"atame" (no accent marks on my keyboard) or "tie me up tie me down", the wonderful almodovar film w/antonio banderas when he was just a young-un. i always wanted to own it but it was virtually impossible to find it, well it was impossible for years. it was never put into dvd format and any VHS' left in the world, no one was giving them up. finally i DID find it. it was selling for $80, for an old vhs. crazy huh? but it was that rare, just a couple yrs ago. shortly thereafter i found a copy and paid just under $20 for it.....1. cause i had always wanted to own it, 2. because i think it's a great film and then 3. it seemed like a good investment if that's what was going on price wise to find it, though i didn't really intend to or want to sell it, i wanted to own it, though i'm not thrilled that it's VHS, i did save one VCR, so i can watch it on that, but THEN they (whomever they is. the production co or whomever) put it onto dvd and changed the whole situation about huge prices for a rare movie. 
i don't know how i moved onto rambling about that.
so to sum it up, even though i barely touched on what happened w/these companies, EBAY and PAYPAL are RIP-OFFS and liars as well. i cannot stand liars and misrepresentation more than anything, it is my biggest pet peeve in this life.
anyhoo............gotta go folks. if anyone ever reads this stuff anyway.
and IF anyone does, i wish i knew (yeah i see the view counter but is only a number, doesn't tell me much), because i have sooooooo much to talk about, write about, vent about, inform about (on my original area of expertise and why i started this blog) and so on and if i knew anyone was reading and hopefully enjoying anything i wrote, i would write a hell of a lot more. writing is a lonely profession. that's for sure. that's one thing that has slowed down the process of finishing my book. that and HOW to get an agent, a good agent, that will get your work READ!! that kinda freaks me out. how does one go about that?? anyone know? i've asked published friends, some famous writers, but they weren't very forthcoming, so i know no more than before i asked.

the internet trying to access and control EVERY aspect of your life....NO privacy whatsoever seems to be the policy....

what the hell?? i couldn't even access my OWN blog account!! and as usual, w/EVERYTHING on the internet now, they wanna link up EVERY email account you have, so you have ZERO privacy left. you cant' keep anything to yourself online anymore. i hate that. hate is a strong word, i STRONGLY dislike that. i have an old ass aol account still and i check in occasionally and i went to do so tonight and it's all "new", of course another change/upgrade (so they call it) to make it IMPOSSIBLE for you to navigate anything and also to try to FORCE you into linking up your entire online life w/them. i couldnt' even go to my mail or anything else and their so called "new look" or whatever was absolutely awful.
i realize things shouldn't stay stagnate but c'mon, why continue to try to "fix" things that aren't broken and "fix" them in such a way that you don't even wanna use them anymore! geez louise man.

was just sharing my blog link on facebook and asking why...AND sprint is crazy issues

blogger is SO damn hard to maneuever!! why is that? i feel like i'm stumbling around in the dark on here, other than knowing how to post. even just GOING to my own page, i have no clue how to get anywhere else.
i was just telling someone how my friend myke started his own page on here and the very FIRST day it was stunning and amazing, he had ads and photos and beautiful stuff everywhere and he was saying something like "bear w/me, i just started, am learning the ropes" and i'm thinking "wtf? it looks like he just designed a website for christian dior or something!"
OH, speaking of that, i'm due for a re-up on my sprint cell contract and today was the deadline for me to do it, to re-up my contract AND (even better) get a cool new $500 phone for FREE, so i thought about it all week, was hemming and hawing, i was all in, totally wanted to do it, then started thinking about it and possibly changing phone companies, etc etc etc. then i was like screw it, i have a great plan, there are no better deals out there, i will definitely be paying more for LESS services and so on....so when i finally got home tonight (still within deadline time), i go to create a sprint account online because customer service TOLD me to do it online so the phone would be absolutely free, instead of ordering it from them or going to a sprint store.
well, speaking of difficult to navigate sites and nightmare situations.....i created my account, selected the phone, yadda yadda, but noooooooooooo!!! sprint just loops me around in circles so many times i lost count. asking for my account number, billing zip code, i provide it all EXCEPT for the stupid ass pin number! i never had a pin number, i never created a pin number, they never even TOLD me i HAVE a pin number, i have a code word that i use to access my account when calling them and that always does the trick and i never have a problem, but NOOOOO, the website HAS to have my non-existent (to me anyway) pin number for me to do ANYTHING on the site. to view my account, to change my account, to upgrade my phone, to view anything at all besides my phone number (that i entered), to take a breath, to save starving children in africa, you get the point. that was quite the run on sentence. i specialize in those, and sidetracking, giving backstories, and so on. i like to hear and know details of everything (of any interest), so i tend to give out ALL the details that i myself would be interested in, meanwhile i'm sure the people i'm giving the details too have their eyes rolling back in their head, or read my emails, listen to my voice mails, etc as a lullaby, a cure for insomnia. ;)
haha, i'm not even joking.
oh wait, i had my enormous run on sentence and still didn't even make my point. the point IS that no matter what i did, they continued to ask for this pin number, even though i answered every secret question. the clock is ticking away, moving closer and closer to taking away my fancy ass new phone and i'm getting frantic, though i'm doing everything they're asking of me.
they give you 3 options basically when you get to the pin part: enter it, say you don't know it, or say you don't pay the bill so you don't have it and no matter which one you enter it STILL asks for your bloody pin number, so wtf IS the point of all of those options? i tried each one 80 times in a row and their magic solution for NOT knowing your pin was to text it to you, yet each time they texted it to you it was an ENTIRELY different number, i would enter it in and they would tell me it was incorrect. i would have them text it to me again and the NEW number would be incorrect. then they would tell me my billing zip code was incorrect, then they would say my account number (straight off the bill, i can read AND i can type numbers correctly AND i know my zip code, shockingly enough) was wrong. WTF?? really? THEN when i type in my secret word, they tell me it's wrong, though later i made the TINIEST bit of progress ever, because they accepted ONE of the numbers they texted to me, just to then SHOW me my secret answer, which was the one i had typed in 30 times. the exact one, but it was "incorrect". again WTF??
oh then when it actually ACCEPTS one of the trillion numbers they text me, it just goes right back to asking for my pin. wasn't that the ENTIRE point of them texting it to me? apparently not. whomever designed their website and that system of accessing your account must be getting a great laugh out of all of this. i have never experienced anything like it online in my LIFE!!! though i did just say that i have blogger navigation issues, but this is a dream compared to sprint.
so yeah back to enter your pin and no matter what i put in it's wrong. then they start telling me i've made too many attempts and they aren't going to allow anymore, even though i would close the page or go back and make a thousand more attempts and they totally allowed me to. again WTF??
soooooo........after about the first hour of this ready to pull out your hair bullshit and tell sprint to go fuck themselves, i wouldn't re-up if they delivered a brand new rolls royce to me in the morning (or a car that i would actually want), actually yeah i would re-up if they did that, but possibly would not for anything short of such a grand gesture, though of course i'll get over it by the time i wake up later on. oh yeah and it's almost 4am and THAT is thanks to sprint as well (or my determination to overcome the un-overcomeable (yeah not a word, but whatever). so yep, i finally called them and of course they are closed, i try chat: closed, email: god only knows when you'll get a response on that, i even tried the automated system on the phone, still nada.
then i even called someone to see if THEY could access their own account, they also did not have a pin number and had no awareness of it and went through the majority of the stuff i did (because i finally told them it's a circle of hell and they would get nowhere, so thanks but give up now).
so, no new phone, no fabulous "deal", sure i could buy the phone on ebay or something but it's even selling for $300 and up on there.
i still have no clue what "my" pin is or how to retrieve it in any way. now my big plan is to call sprint later today and raise hell (so to speak. i will be perfectly civil and lovely) and hopefully "make" them give me that offer even though it officially expired at midnight, but hey, THEY are the ones dying for me to renew my contract which is up and has been up for awhile and THEY are the ones dying to make money and get whatever they can outta anyone. so after what i went through (2 hrs altogether of website hell), and all i have to show for it is a backache from hell, a headache and an interruption of something i put a pause on that i was thoroughly enjoying and pissing off the person that was waiting on me.
so yeah, they'd better JUMP THROUGH HOOPS is all i gotta say at this point. utterly ridiculous!
the person i called even sent them a long email (i didn't bother, i was beyond that) detailing what we were going through and how they kept texting different useless numbers over and over that didn't work and that NOTHING worked. i could have sworn that sprint customer service on the phone (or SOMEWHERE!) was available 24/7. i think it's silly for it not to be, just imagine how much business they lose over NOT being available.
i even basically sent myself a message to request "permission" to access my own account. but i didn't get a text or an email or a phone call, so that will apparently come in a couple/few days.
ai yi yi.
so yeah that's my long, sordid, stressful (for me) tale of my late saturday night sprint game. ha. i know we ALL go through frustrations like this, sometimes daily.
for example: (though i may have blogged about this, not sure, it IS one of my biggest pet peeves though)....customer service in general in life, in stores and such. and incompetence and rudeness. not even just w/employees who are being paid to wait on you, service you, just human beings in general. it's like almost all manners have just gone out the window. people slam into you and don't even apologize, in fact, they'll even yell at YOU when they did something or give you foul looks or whatever. oh yeah, i could go on and on (obviously) about lack of manners, courtesy, customer service and all of that good (or should i say bad?) stuff. man, i go out of my way to be courteous. let's say someone DOES slam into me, which i've had happen many, many times, in the market, wherever, i even had a lady not watching her child let her child run into/over me so hard that he broke my toenail and my foot was bleeding and I apologized to her!  i apologize or say excuse me or sorry or any possible kindness or manners that i can show, as a RULE! not as an exception.
and i'm not claiming to be "better" than anyone else or more mannerly (well maybe i AM claiming to be more mannerly, or at least more aware of being mannerly), but c'mon people, what HAS happened to manners, etiquette, "the customer is always right", and all that good stuff?
okay, that is it for me. i am officially going to bed. omg it's already sunday!!! this weekend flew by soooo quickly. blink and it was past.