okay, come on people. WHO invented "lol"? and worse, who ran w/it? are things literally THAT fucking funny that people are lol'ing every 2 seconds? i think it's the most inane asinine thing EVER. well, maybe not ever, but one of them.
i have friends who say lol at the end of every single sentence they type. "i'm going to the store lol" "what are you doing tonight lol"?
do they have any brain cells? are they mindless endlessly laughing hyenas that find every single thing hysterically funny? then the rofl, lmao, lmfao.
i seriously have NEVER used one of these abbreviations once. not once. from the first moment i saw lol, i thought "oh dear god, please no!" and it's irritated me because for one, you know it's not literal. as i said, what brainless ass is literally laughing aloud at the most inane stuff?
i swore to myself then and later that i would never use any of those terms. i also swore that i would never use ANY internet lingo or abbreviations but of course i do. hey, sometimes things just get to be too much to type and yeah, it's convenient.
so some of my friends and i (who also hate it) will say "lawl" to each other. phonetically saying it of course to make fun of it and when something is funny.
so yep, not diggin' the lol. never will.
Dec 19, 2010
Jul 20, 2010
staying up LATE!!
i didn't realize it was this late. my big day off, so i tell myself i should get rested to start work again and yet i also tell myself it's my time off so i should enjoy every second. so here u have me still up. i'm tired as fuck though.
omg check THIS out!!! i don't know if i've mentioned this but i HATE HATE HATE when people (well certain people) ask me why i'm up so late or "oh yeah you're always up late huh?" but it's NOT what they are saying or asking, it's HOW they are saying it. like it's an accusation.
like there was this one guy on myspace, some band guy who was always up late like me and would email me and it would only be 12 am, 1 am, 2 at the absolute max. i don't think 1am is all that friggin late do u? and EVERY fucking time he would mention me being up late and ask me what kind of drugs i was on. every time i'd be like i don't take drugs, i dont' even drink caffeine, i'm just a night person AND i start work late and stay working late and i get insomnia too. so i told him this over and over and over and over. at first nicely and then kind of defensively, because he continued to say it a million times and THEN i was offended because he was basically calling me a liar! HE was on drugs, not me! so i was insulted.
anyway, so i hate when people ask me in a shitty, accusatory type way why i'm up so late. anyone who says it nicely or whatever, i'm cool with. i guess it just boils down to manners or intention?
sooo.....this guy that i used to date, couple yrs back has gotten back in touch w/me recently and i guess i'm ok w/being his friend and only his friend. he is kind of an arrogant prick in some ways and he has not ONE reason to be like that. he's a big skinny dork and that's one reason i stopped seeing him. his bony body grossed me out, i didn't want to touch it or have it next to me or anything, even though HE thinks he's a sex machine.
oh so he called me again recently, it was like 1am and we talked til like 2 even though i didn't want to but i was being polite. anyway, this guy said something about "oh yeah u stay up late huh"? and i was like yeah but wtf HE is the one calling me at 1am!!! on a sunday night no less.
then he asked me in that weird accusatory way why i was up so late. like what does he think? that i'm fucking tweeking or something? seriously! wtf? so he asked why i was up so late and i said i work late. i sometimes don't get off til midnight or so, so it's only an hour after that so that's really not late for me is it?
but he continued to act like i was up sooooo late. he was up after all and he acted like it was 4 am or something. i said how many people do you know who get off work at 5 pm and run home and go to bed right away or even at 7pm? he's like "oh good point, i never thought of that". no shit sherlock. anyway it annoyed me.
i'm the most honest person there is and i volunteer all kinds of shit and if i was on speed or even drinking coffee or anything else to "be up so late" i'd say so! god. people can be sooo annoying sometimes!
oh oh that asshole on myspace that i mentioned i finally every time i saw HIM on late which was all the time, if it was after midnight, i'd write him and go "what are u doing up so late? put down the crack pipe" and shit like that. i just tortured him, in a funny way. he got ALL offended even though i know he does drugs. i mean he's a musician for one and there was stuff on his page and in his attitude that told me so. then i was sick of him and deleted him. haha. someone really has to be a total tool for me to delete them, i will put up w/a lot it seems
omg check THIS out!!! i don't know if i've mentioned this but i HATE HATE HATE when people (well certain people) ask me why i'm up so late or "oh yeah you're always up late huh?" but it's NOT what they are saying or asking, it's HOW they are saying it. like it's an accusation.
like there was this one guy on myspace, some band guy who was always up late like me and would email me and it would only be 12 am, 1 am, 2 at the absolute max. i don't think 1am is all that friggin late do u? and EVERY fucking time he would mention me being up late and ask me what kind of drugs i was on. every time i'd be like i don't take drugs, i dont' even drink caffeine, i'm just a night person AND i start work late and stay working late and i get insomnia too. so i told him this over and over and over and over. at first nicely and then kind of defensively, because he continued to say it a million times and THEN i was offended because he was basically calling me a liar! HE was on drugs, not me! so i was insulted.
anyway, so i hate when people ask me in a shitty, accusatory type way why i'm up so late. anyone who says it nicely or whatever, i'm cool with. i guess it just boils down to manners or intention?
sooo.....this guy that i used to date, couple yrs back has gotten back in touch w/me recently and i guess i'm ok w/being his friend and only his friend. he is kind of an arrogant prick in some ways and he has not ONE reason to be like that. he's a big skinny dork and that's one reason i stopped seeing him. his bony body grossed me out, i didn't want to touch it or have it next to me or anything, even though HE thinks he's a sex machine.
oh so he called me again recently, it was like 1am and we talked til like 2 even though i didn't want to but i was being polite. anyway, this guy said something about "oh yeah u stay up late huh"? and i was like yeah but wtf HE is the one calling me at 1am!!! on a sunday night no less.
then he asked me in that weird accusatory way why i was up so late. like what does he think? that i'm fucking tweeking or something? seriously! wtf? so he asked why i was up so late and i said i work late. i sometimes don't get off til midnight or so, so it's only an hour after that so that's really not late for me is it?
but he continued to act like i was up sooooo late. he was up after all and he acted like it was 4 am or something. i said how many people do you know who get off work at 5 pm and run home and go to bed right away or even at 7pm? he's like "oh good point, i never thought of that". no shit sherlock. anyway it annoyed me.
i'm the most honest person there is and i volunteer all kinds of shit and if i was on speed or even drinking coffee or anything else to "be up so late" i'd say so! god. people can be sooo annoying sometimes!
oh oh that asshole on myspace that i mentioned i finally every time i saw HIM on late which was all the time, if it was after midnight, i'd write him and go "what are u doing up so late? put down the crack pipe" and shit like that. i just tortured him, in a funny way. he got ALL offended even though i know he does drugs. i mean he's a musician for one and there was stuff on his page and in his attitude that told me so. then i was sick of him and deleted him. haha. someone really has to be a total tool for me to delete them, i will put up w/a lot it seems
Jun 2, 2010
do the majority of people get into relationships out of FEAR???
do u need another person to be happy, meaning a significant other? u know i have many friends that got married or whatever and i would never want their relationships (but then i have friends or family in amazing, happy relationships too. not many but a few). they are miserable or fight all the time or mismatched. i think THAT is the reason that so many relationships don't last, because people get involved w/someone for all the wrong reasons....because they are needy/clingy/desperate, afraid of getting old, afraid to be alone, afraid their time is running out, afraid their looks are going, afraid they won't be able to have children if they want them, afraid they won't find someone "better", afraid they won't meet someone else...... wow, most of it boils down to fear huh? i was just realizing that as i was typing. wow, that's interesting now that i think of it. most of the women i know who got married it was for all of those reasons i listed. oh someone to take care of them, that too. that was a big one for a couple of them at least. some of them had lists of the things they wanted the guys to buy for/do for them. yeah i can think of 4 of my girl friends who had that, the want of someone to buy for them and take care of them, even if they had to trick the guy to get it. lame huh? sad, dishonest and very lame.
but then there is the other side of the coin people who are SO picky that their dream person simply doesn't exist. except in a actress or supermodel or goddess but then that's perception to some degree and more importantly someone they could never get! a guy dreaming over this perfect girl thinking some rich gorgeous model will be all in love w/him when he's a broke toad who lives w/his parents and doesn't have a job or whatever and yet somehow he thinks he deserves some amazing visage of womanhood. wtf is up w/that??
in line w/the above, another big mistake people make is going by attraction and attraction only. LUST!! or their physical "ideal". if he/she is super "hot" or fit what they want physically, that's good enough for them, they will overlook everything else, it doesn't matter if they have anything in common or a brain or are a good person or a good personality or much internal stuff, as long as they look good and of course that only lasts so long too. sure i'm generalizing here but i've seen it and heard about it countless times. i have a friend who's a bassist in a band, he's really talented actually. he's fairly young, great looking, super smart, funny, cool, etc and he is always telling me how he's w/some dumb blond for years and years because she (the current one) is "so hot" and that he doesn't get tired of looking at her, but he can't talk to them, they are stupid (according to him), they are boring and horrible in bed, they have nothing in common but he never gets tired of looking at them and that is why he stays. those are his exact words. he just has great sex on the side w/someone who's not super hot. secretly of course. sad huh?
(in response to a friend's email) off on a tangent again and i didnt' even answer your question. to answer it, it's a combination of things...i've dated a LOT, too much probably in the last 10 yrs or so when i decided i actually might like someone cool in my life, not even to get married or anything, just to spend time w/or maybe even a boyfriend and it just never worked out or worked out long enough. people weren't honest about who they were and more importantly HOW they were and yeah, some might say my standards are too high but they aren't. my standards are really simple.....things like honesty, a good person, really basic shit, but in this day and age i think i'm a throwback to another time. people being honest? being real? god forbid! they will just tell you whatever you want to hear to get whatever they want to get.
no i'm not bitter or a man hater or anything like that. i think men are great. i really do. there just aren't a lot of good ones out there so i'd rather go w/out than be w/someone who's not what i want or just to be w/someone, what's the point? people can be pretty damn happy when they are on their own. lonely doesn't come from being "alone". lonely is a whole different deal.
so yeah i keep myself happy. me, my friends, my family, my interests and yes, i'm busy too.
i'm a romantic too, believe it or not. i do (or want to) believe in "the one" or soul mates, i think we all probably have a few though. i do believe in that stuff. i do believe in everlasting (or close to it) love but i also know that love and relationships take work, it's not just a magically hormonal fairy tale where everything just falls into place and no one ever fights or works at it. in fact like they say, isn't anything worth having worth the effort it takes to have it? i would think so. i'm not talking drudgery. of course you should get far more pleasure from it than "work".
that's great that your friend's girl was there for him. i know that feeling, when you see someone being really great for their significant other or you see a really happy couple or you're at a wedding and you get all choked up thinking "ahh, wouldn't that be great if i had that too?". so yeah, i believe in love, i believe in romance and all of that good stuff and i've had it. i've been pretty lucky, it's just been awhile and i hope to have it again someday. :)
and yo'ure right, you're VERY young, you shouldn't be all tied down, you should be having fun and doing what you want. that doesnt' mean be a big player and become a serial dater or whatever. still respect women and treat them right and be honest w/them and everything else. it's good practice.
haha i heard a story once about a guy who totally used and lied to a woman and moved on of course then years later he was going for this job he wanted desperately, his dream job....and turned out SHE was going to be his boss and was the one who had the decision of hiring him or not. needless to say he had burned his bridge long ago. you never know when shit will bite you in the ass.
i guess that's karma in action right there? oooh and another thing, i've had a number of guy friends who would use women and lie to them and all of that, being like "oh she knows what the deal is, i don't need to tell her" and not feeling guilty or badly in the least. THEN would come the magical day when they would meet "the one" and would be all smitten and ready to now be a good guy no matter what and the woman wanted nothing to do w/them and they were all crushed and crying about how and why didnt' she like them and how horrible it was to wait on her phone calls or wonder what she was up to and how could she lead him on, etc. etc. and i was thinking "but you never had compassion for all the girls you did that to without a thought?". karma again? i would think so.
i've gotten to the point that all of that shit: meeting, talking (if you're lucky), dating, getting to know someone, seeing if you like each other.....blah blah blah blah, has just not been worth it to me for awhile now. it seems pointless or fruitless i guess. i wish you could just hand out a resume or something or a list and ask each other if they fit it and if not just move on quickly, it always seems to turn out to be the same story or another disappointment, so i figure when/if a guy likes me he can do something about it. key word: DO!!
our current society of men has gotten sooooooo bloody lazy. they expect everything to be instant, to be handed to them, w/little or no effort. they want to text a booty call and have YOU come over even. they can't be bothered to even call or ask you out or offer to come to you or anything else, and noooo, i don't do that and yes, i DO blame women too for putting up w/so little effort that men think it's okay to behave that way, because they get away w/it. it's sad. i miss when a man was a man, but maybe i didn't even live in that era? now men want women to earn at least half of the money AND wait on them AND be their delivery girl and their instant sex girl and worship them and everything else. you sign online and instantly people are im'ing you asking if you're horny or do you have a webcam, it's offensive. without even saying hello, asking how you are or even pretending to be interested in your mind or anything else. they don't seem to give a shit about you. well seem is a bad word, of course they don't give a shit about you, they make it abundantly clear what their interests are. so 3 steps forward and 2 steps back as far as technology goes. we are more "connected" yet more separate than ever. i'm not saying that men should blindly worship women, which is more the way it used to be or maybe i'm mistaken on that?
i don't know......it's just difficult i guess. :)
but they way we are built an element of that does work and does help. men are supposed to make women feel good and vice versa but we each have very different needs.
but then there is the other side of the coin people who are SO picky that their dream person simply doesn't exist. except in a actress or supermodel or goddess but then that's perception to some degree and more importantly someone they could never get! a guy dreaming over this perfect girl thinking some rich gorgeous model will be all in love w/him when he's a broke toad who lives w/his parents and doesn't have a job or whatever and yet somehow he thinks he deserves some amazing visage of womanhood. wtf is up w/that??
in line w/the above, another big mistake people make is going by attraction and attraction only. LUST!! or their physical "ideal". if he/she is super "hot" or fit what they want physically, that's good enough for them, they will overlook everything else, it doesn't matter if they have anything in common or a brain or are a good person or a good personality or much internal stuff, as long as they look good and of course that only lasts so long too. sure i'm generalizing here but i've seen it and heard about it countless times. i have a friend who's a bassist in a band, he's really talented actually. he's fairly young, great looking, super smart, funny, cool, etc and he is always telling me how he's w/some dumb blond for years and years because she (the current one) is "so hot" and that he doesn't get tired of looking at her, but he can't talk to them, they are stupid (according to him), they are boring and horrible in bed, they have nothing in common but he never gets tired of looking at them and that is why he stays. those are his exact words. he just has great sex on the side w/someone who's not super hot. secretly of course. sad huh?
(in response to a friend's email) off on a tangent again and i didnt' even answer your question. to answer it, it's a combination of things...i've dated a LOT, too much probably in the last 10 yrs or so when i decided i actually might like someone cool in my life, not even to get married or anything, just to spend time w/or maybe even a boyfriend and it just never worked out or worked out long enough. people weren't honest about who they were and more importantly HOW they were and yeah, some might say my standards are too high but they aren't. my standards are really simple.....things like honesty, a good person, really basic shit, but in this day and age i think i'm a throwback to another time. people being honest? being real? god forbid! they will just tell you whatever you want to hear to get whatever they want to get.
no i'm not bitter or a man hater or anything like that. i think men are great. i really do. there just aren't a lot of good ones out there so i'd rather go w/out than be w/someone who's not what i want or just to be w/someone, what's the point? people can be pretty damn happy when they are on their own. lonely doesn't come from being "alone". lonely is a whole different deal.
so yeah i keep myself happy. me, my friends, my family, my interests and yes, i'm busy too.
i'm a romantic too, believe it or not. i do (or want to) believe in "the one" or soul mates, i think we all probably have a few though. i do believe in that stuff. i do believe in everlasting (or close to it) love but i also know that love and relationships take work, it's not just a magically hormonal fairy tale where everything just falls into place and no one ever fights or works at it. in fact like they say, isn't anything worth having worth the effort it takes to have it? i would think so. i'm not talking drudgery. of course you should get far more pleasure from it than "work".
that's great that your friend's girl was there for him. i know that feeling, when you see someone being really great for their significant other or you see a really happy couple or you're at a wedding and you get all choked up thinking "ahh, wouldn't that be great if i had that too?". so yeah, i believe in love, i believe in romance and all of that good stuff and i've had it. i've been pretty lucky, it's just been awhile and i hope to have it again someday. :)
and yo'ure right, you're VERY young, you shouldn't be all tied down, you should be having fun and doing what you want. that doesnt' mean be a big player and become a serial dater or whatever. still respect women and treat them right and be honest w/them and everything else. it's good practice.
haha i heard a story once about a guy who totally used and lied to a woman and moved on of course then years later he was going for this job he wanted desperately, his dream job....and turned out SHE was going to be his boss and was the one who had the decision of hiring him or not. needless to say he had burned his bridge long ago. you never know when shit will bite you in the ass.
i guess that's karma in action right there? oooh and another thing, i've had a number of guy friends who would use women and lie to them and all of that, being like "oh she knows what the deal is, i don't need to tell her" and not feeling guilty or badly in the least. THEN would come the magical day when they would meet "the one" and would be all smitten and ready to now be a good guy no matter what and the woman wanted nothing to do w/them and they were all crushed and crying about how and why didnt' she like them and how horrible it was to wait on her phone calls or wonder what she was up to and how could she lead him on, etc. etc. and i was thinking "but you never had compassion for all the girls you did that to without a thought?". karma again? i would think so.
i've gotten to the point that all of that shit: meeting, talking (if you're lucky), dating, getting to know someone, seeing if you like each other.....blah blah blah blah, has just not been worth it to me for awhile now. it seems pointless or fruitless i guess. i wish you could just hand out a resume or something or a list and ask each other if they fit it and if not just move on quickly, it always seems to turn out to be the same story or another disappointment, so i figure when/if a guy likes me he can do something about it. key word: DO!!
our current society of men has gotten sooooooo bloody lazy. they expect everything to be instant, to be handed to them, w/little or no effort. they want to text a booty call and have YOU come over even. they can't be bothered to even call or ask you out or offer to come to you or anything else, and noooo, i don't do that and yes, i DO blame women too for putting up w/so little effort that men think it's okay to behave that way, because they get away w/it. it's sad. i miss when a man was a man, but maybe i didn't even live in that era? now men want women to earn at least half of the money AND wait on them AND be their delivery girl and their instant sex girl and worship them and everything else. you sign online and instantly people are im'ing you asking if you're horny or do you have a webcam, it's offensive. without even saying hello, asking how you are or even pretending to be interested in your mind or anything else. they don't seem to give a shit about you. well seem is a bad word, of course they don't give a shit about you, they make it abundantly clear what their interests are. so 3 steps forward and 2 steps back as far as technology goes. we are more "connected" yet more separate than ever. i'm not saying that men should blindly worship women, which is more the way it used to be or maybe i'm mistaken on that?
i don't know......it's just difficult i guess. :)
but they way we are built an element of that does work and does help. men are supposed to make women feel good and vice versa but we each have very different needs.
May 25, 2010
check this out...i saw this guy's profile...
| Why You Should Get to Know Me |
| ...bullshit. We're made to answer stupid questions that really don't bring us closer to anyone, and instead have the opposite effect of pushing us away. I see a lot of women that I'm attracted to; women that by virtue of their smile, or their beauty - what's attractive to me - make me want to email them. But then when I read their profile, I read that I'm 3 inches less in height than she's wanting, or 4 years too old for what she's looking for, blah blah blah. But is that truly what matters...what matters more than anything to that person? I don't know. But because she answered the way she did, I decide not to email her and thus nothing is potentially begun between us. And here's the crazy as shit sad thing for that woman - or man, because I know many women are thinking the same thing about what us men answered - and that's that she has no idea who the hell I am, or what I've done with my life. She has no idea how much money I make. She has no idea that I could be a millionaire with an amazing job, and that all I'm wanting to do is settle down and buy a house and start a family...or help put my new girlfriend - her - through her master's program. Or that I own properties in Europe and live there 6 months out of the year? Where's that box for me to answer those important questions on this site? Because let's be honest...isn't that what's most important; knowing that as a woman you'll be taken care of? That he's financially secure? (If that's what you're wanting, which come on...it is.) That he's got a great job, lives a certain type of lifestyle, has no debts, and flys all over the world whenever the hell he wants? Instead, none of you will know any of that stuff. All you'll know by looking at my profile, for example, is that I don't fit your "answers"; I'm 3 inches shorter than you say you want, or 4 years out of your age range. So don't you think it'd be better - when making an informed judgement on someone - to have all the facts? I do...but call me crazy. I didn't create this site, I'm just trying to improve it and expose it's flaws. Tell me, knowing someone has no debts and a net worth of 3 million dollars wouldn't perhaps influence your choosing to email that guy back or not...even if he was 4 years older than originally you were seeking?? But let's go ahead and reject everyone based on the less important stats..because yeah, I'd much rather be with a woman that fits my exact shopping list, then someone with whom I really might get along better with, if I knew the important things about her. (Does she have a good job? is she a woman who wants to change the world? Does she just want her man to work? Did she marry stupid, get divorced, and now needs a man to help her out?) But I'll never know so long as we're made to write down the most shallow crap about ourselves, instead of the revelatory stuff. (Religion aside because I do think that's important to people. Not to me, but most people require you be of the same faith as them. Zzzzzz to that. Yeah...thanks for all the wars, religion! Good for you!) If you agree with me - great - if not, then I don't care. I really don't. If it takes 1000 silly, insubstantial women to be pissed at me, just to get to the one cool girl that agrees with me, I can more than live with that. Oh yes, I can. Cheers! |
| More About What I Am Looking For | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| You know, it'd be nice to meet a kind woman. Someone who isn't self-involved. Someone who asks as many questions about me, as I do about her. 37 year old Man in Los Angeles, California
|
Jan 26, 2010
Ageism. One of the last acceptable prejudices!!
yeah, it's true and unfortunately pretty sad. well, all prejudices are sad, are they not? i was watching "the bachelor" (yeah chortle at me all u like but i do like some cheesy tv and reality shows. i either find them entertaining, interesting OR so badly "funny" or "interesting" as in a train wreck or something of that nature. i know a lot of people like to watch silly or lame people to feel better about themselves. like jerry springer fans, most probably feel superior knowing that no matter what may be wrong in their own lives that at least they are nowhere near as "bad" or embarrassing as all the folks on springer.
oh. so as i was saying, i was watching "the bachelor" earlier tonight and i don't know the exact age of the bachelor guy but i DO know that he's in his 30's. maybe 35? 31? who knows. but the point is that he IS in his 30's and almost EVERY woman, or girl should i say is in her 20's, her EARLY 20's!! wtf is that?? why would a guy (or anyone for that matter) want to spend the rest of their LIFE w/someone who is a decade to 15 yrs younger!?? no, i'm not an ageist and sure you can have stuff in common w/people of almost any age and i'm not against people dating or marrying someone much younger OR much older. i do think age is just a number in many ways.
BUT let's be realistic here too....this guy is planning to MARRY whichever woman he chooses and how much can you have in common, but more importantly life experience w/someone who is a decade or more younger than your age? not to go back and forth, but again i'm ALL for learning new things from people and not being so identical in experiences that you are the bobsy (is that the right word and/or spelling) twins. i think that is one of the best parts of a relationship, turning each other onto your own views, tastes and experiences.
that being said, i think that people w/that big of an age difference will most likely not have enough in common or work out in the long term. an old best friend of mine used to always tell me that it's CRUCIAL to find someone who has a very similar life experience and even upbringing to yours. meaning that it can't be so foreign (in fact, she felt that if anyone fell in love w/a "foreigner" that it wouldn't work unless again you had very similar life experiences. i don't know that i would agree w/that. i think that relationships work out and don't work out based on sooo many factors and you can't pigeon hole everything to that degree. but hell, maybe she's right? i don't know) because you will basically never "get" each other enough.
ok back to the age difference thing: let's consider the maturity factor alone. HOW is someone in their early 20's (even if they are the most mature person in the world) going to have the maturity and even depth of a 30 something? they won't basically. THEN let's consider the changes factor. think of how much you change from your 20's to your 30's. what a different person you are. they say your 20's are for figuring out WHO you are and i agree. even if your tastes stay the same and so on, you don't. even your life usually changes hugely. because the more you live, the more you learn and the more you shift in who you are.
let's say that i'm a 28 year old woman and i get involved w/or even marry an 18 year old man, though i would still consider him a boy, emotionally anyway. again, could be a VERY mature guy and sure that might help a lot but in general.....of course, we could and probably would have all the attraction and chemistry in the world. the sex could even be mind blowing. well i would certainly hope so! :P and let's say that we have TONS in common, same film taste, same books, same sports, same music, even a very similar upbringing right? (and this may be an asinine statement due to the staying power of ANY relationship these days) but how long would it last? even if he has had jobs before and his own place briefly and maybe even been in love before, he would have VERY different experiences and views on those things. let's say he thinks you should blow every paycheck that you make and the money for rent or bills will "take care of themselves" when the time comes. OR (and this is very common) he is so new to relationships that he totally romanticizes them (i'm a romantic too, i get it. but i'm also a realist) and he thinks that love and relationships take NO work at all. it's just happy fa la la all the time and if you have to discuss or argue about anything or any problems arise, even about the toothpaste or whatever then he's like "oh this is too hard or we're not meant for each other because everything is not dream world every second". ha! i had one younger boyfriend who told me that it was a FACT that if you have to work on ANYTHING in a relationship or it is difficult for even a second that you just weren't meant for each other and there is a magical person out there that IS meant for you, where everything will just be peaches and cream and smooth sailing. haha. i asked him what he was smoking.
true there should be far more good than bad and if you're at each others throats about everything, you're probably not a great match but come on! it's like having a job. do you expect to go there and lollygag around and socialize all day and just get to your work if the mood strikes? of course not. to get almost anything good in your life, it takes work. hard work! and a lot of it. sure some people get lucky or i would call it more happenstance, because i think in general we make our own luck and the harder we work the luckier we get.
haha. here i am debating w/myself. but i was thinking all of these things (and more) while watching that show. who knew "the bachelor" was capable of inspiring deep thoughts?
ok i'm gonna stop rambling. i'm afraid they aren't going to save this, as i typed some last night and some right now. i should post it.
oh. so as i was saying, i was watching "the bachelor" earlier tonight and i don't know the exact age of the bachelor guy but i DO know that he's in his 30's. maybe 35? 31? who knows. but the point is that he IS in his 30's and almost EVERY woman, or girl should i say is in her 20's, her EARLY 20's!! wtf is that?? why would a guy (or anyone for that matter) want to spend the rest of their LIFE w/someone who is a decade to 15 yrs younger!?? no, i'm not an ageist and sure you can have stuff in common w/people of almost any age and i'm not against people dating or marrying someone much younger OR much older. i do think age is just a number in many ways.
BUT let's be realistic here too....this guy is planning to MARRY whichever woman he chooses and how much can you have in common, but more importantly life experience w/someone who is a decade or more younger than your age? not to go back and forth, but again i'm ALL for learning new things from people and not being so identical in experiences that you are the bobsy (is that the right word and/or spelling) twins. i think that is one of the best parts of a relationship, turning each other onto your own views, tastes and experiences.
that being said, i think that people w/that big of an age difference will most likely not have enough in common or work out in the long term. an old best friend of mine used to always tell me that it's CRUCIAL to find someone who has a very similar life experience and even upbringing to yours. meaning that it can't be so foreign (in fact, she felt that if anyone fell in love w/a "foreigner" that it wouldn't work unless again you had very similar life experiences. i don't know that i would agree w/that. i think that relationships work out and don't work out based on sooo many factors and you can't pigeon hole everything to that degree. but hell, maybe she's right? i don't know) because you will basically never "get" each other enough.
ok back to the age difference thing: let's consider the maturity factor alone. HOW is someone in their early 20's (even if they are the most mature person in the world) going to have the maturity and even depth of a 30 something? they won't basically. THEN let's consider the changes factor. think of how much you change from your 20's to your 30's. what a different person you are. they say your 20's are for figuring out WHO you are and i agree. even if your tastes stay the same and so on, you don't. even your life usually changes hugely. because the more you live, the more you learn and the more you shift in who you are.
let's say that i'm a 28 year old woman and i get involved w/or even marry an 18 year old man, though i would still consider him a boy, emotionally anyway. again, could be a VERY mature guy and sure that might help a lot but in general.....of course, we could and probably would have all the attraction and chemistry in the world. the sex could even be mind blowing. well i would certainly hope so! :P and let's say that we have TONS in common, same film taste, same books, same sports, same music, even a very similar upbringing right? (and this may be an asinine statement due to the staying power of ANY relationship these days) but how long would it last? even if he has had jobs before and his own place briefly and maybe even been in love before, he would have VERY different experiences and views on those things. let's say he thinks you should blow every paycheck that you make and the money for rent or bills will "take care of themselves" when the time comes. OR (and this is very common) he is so new to relationships that he totally romanticizes them (i'm a romantic too, i get it. but i'm also a realist) and he thinks that love and relationships take NO work at all. it's just happy fa la la all the time and if you have to discuss or argue about anything or any problems arise, even about the toothpaste or whatever then he's like "oh this is too hard or we're not meant for each other because everything is not dream world every second". ha! i had one younger boyfriend who told me that it was a FACT that if you have to work on ANYTHING in a relationship or it is difficult for even a second that you just weren't meant for each other and there is a magical person out there that IS meant for you, where everything will just be peaches and cream and smooth sailing. haha. i asked him what he was smoking.
true there should be far more good than bad and if you're at each others throats about everything, you're probably not a great match but come on! it's like having a job. do you expect to go there and lollygag around and socialize all day and just get to your work if the mood strikes? of course not. to get almost anything good in your life, it takes work. hard work! and a lot of it. sure some people get lucky or i would call it more happenstance, because i think in general we make our own luck and the harder we work the luckier we get.
haha. here i am debating w/myself. but i was thinking all of these things (and more) while watching that show. who knew "the bachelor" was capable of inspiring deep thoughts?
ok i'm gonna stop rambling. i'm afraid they aren't going to save this, as i typed some last night and some right now. i should post it.
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